TigerGate # 2

It had to happen.

 tSS's favourite celebrity spruiker Max Markson has nabbed a piece of the Tiger Wood's juggernaut and signed up Las Vegas cocktail waitress, the delightfully named Jaimee Grubbs. Grubbs (right) first media appearance is a saucy photo shoot in the high brow English mag Zoo to be published this Tuesday.

Max has a few helpful words for Tiger to repair his image :"a stint in rehab for sex addiction like Michael Douglas" and some serious interviews on 60 Minutes, Oprah and Larry King. Max gets 20% of the take for this stuff.

Born in Bournemouth in the UK, Max failed his A-level exams, left school and began promoting pop groups and BBC Radio One disc jockeys, sold saucepans from a market stall in Shepherds Bush and finally ended up in Oz selling political slogan t-shirts. Now he's the antipodean answer to England's Max Clifford, representing sports stars and just about anyone who happens to hit the headlines, as long as there is a dollar to be made.

some of Max's clients:

left to right : Corey Delaney,  Bill Clinton,  George Bush Snr,  Mick Gatto ,Cherie Blair,

Maria Venuti 

photo finish

some snaps from the week's events...

  Mini Cooper at the 2010 Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras launch at the Polo Lounge

the fab Susan Saradon at the Sydney premiere of the Peter Jackson
film 'The Lovely Bones'

Toni Collette at the Australian Film Awards in Melbourne

Exclusive : Rock legend Jimi Hendrix was a pedophile !

Well that's possibly the headline a tabloid like Britain's The Sun would run today.

A new autobiography just released by former pop singer and music business identity Jonathan King who had a string of hit records in the 1960's through to the 80's relates the story of how the late rocker Jimi Hendrix had sex with a 14 year old fan and caught a venereal disease from her.

In his book Jonathan King, 65 My Life So Far King says he used to "nag Hendrix to scale down the drugs and have sex with a 'better class of girl' ". He writes "At least 3 times in private Hendrix whipped out his reasonably substantial dick to reveal to me a vast amount of discharge oozing from his infected organ."

" Did I think he had VD again?" he'd ask King innocently. And once swore, when I confirmed it, 'Christ she can't have been more than 14 years old! " said Hendrix referring to the young female fan he had just had sex with.

Jonathan King is his pop star days

King's book contains a host of bawdy revelations and tales of sexual romps involving some of the biggest names of the rock world from the 60's to the 90's and includes revelations about bi-sexual orgies he attended with former Beatle John Lennon (see story below).

Others stories including King's own claim he slept with 12 girls in a row after his number 1 hit " Everyone's Gone to the Moon" written and released when he was still a university student can be found on the Madame Arcati blog.

King holds back nothing in his book and goes into great depth about his 2001 conviction on sex charges for which he spent nearly 4 years in jail for. During his incarceration he spent his time assisting other prisoners prepare appeals against their convictions. On his release he made a highly amusing movie about his ordeal which can be viewed on-line at Vile Pervert

And here is King's 1965 first big hit record which sold 4 million copies:

a night to remember

tSS has scored 2 tickets courtesy of Barry Humphries to the gala premiere of Dame Edna Everage's new stage spectacular this Monday night at the Sydney Opera House.

               This show should be something else-brilliant violinist Richard Tognetti and the highly acclaimed  Australian Chamber Orchestra will be performing along with Humphries, Dame Edna and Sir Les Patterson, Cultural Attache and Minister for The Yartz.
                One proviso, Barry has recommended we don't let the Dame know we are his guests The seats are in the front row and we could come in for a verbal bashing from Edna.

                 Sir Les will be singing some of his favourite songs from Slim Dusty country tunes to Rod Stewart's "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy". Humphries says Sir Les may even be joined by Dame Edna in a duet-  " if only to upstage the respected senior politician" whilst Humphries will conduct the orchestra. This we have to see. All 3 on stage at once.

                 Humphries has also advised Tognetti to take out extra insurance on the amazing gift he received 2 years ago from a mystery benefactor-a $10M valued violin known as a Carrodus-one of only four in existence. 
 "Sir Les has a particularly virulent strain of spittle that has been known to eat holes through the toughest timber" says Humphries. 
            Barry will also be performing Façade, Edith Sitwell’s eccentric nonsense poems recited over William Walton’s cheeky, jazzy, hummable instrumental backgrounds. Humphries says "expect anything in this show-anything is likely to happen"
             As to Sir Les Patterson who will be appearing in off-white tails, Humphries says " I've been quite surprised. There hasn't been one single objection to Sir Les taking the stage at such a cultural evening. Although there could be quite a body of objection afterwards".
         
  There are only 2 performances in Sydney and 2 in Melbourne with limited seats-so book early HERE.
        
As Humphries says :"this is a once in a lifetime event. And many may say after 'thank God for that' "
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## If a night with the Dame isn't your bag, how about former Australian Guantanamo Bay inmate Mamdouh Habib's one man show Waiting For Mamdouh which will be premiered next February as part of NIDA's  Short+Sweet theatrical festival.

   Habib spent nearly 4 years at GITMO before being released without charge and flown back to Australia by private jet. He says he was tortured in Pakistan with Australian and CIA agents watching on before being blindfolded and flown to Cuba.. He also says he has had 3 offers from the US to make films of his life but cannot travel abroad because the Australian government refuses to issue a passport despite him never having been convicted of a crime.
   Mamdou's play is a ten minute soliloquy performed in a cell onstage where he "tells the truth to the Australian people and the world." of his time in Cuba.

TigerGate

Our spy in Thailand disguised as property developer Rob Astbury informs tSS that his houseboy printed up a few hundred t-shirts stating "I HAD SEX WITH TIGER TOO"-sold the lot at his girlfriend's market stall and has gone off for a holiday on the proceeds.

## fact : Tiger Wood's mum is Thai.

SPECIAL NOTICE :

The entire staff of the Social Shuttle (including the recently sacked sub-editor Mildred Pierce) would like to state, for the record, they have never had an affair or dalliance with the respected golfer  Mr Tiger Woods.

exclusive : Beatle John Lennon's bi-sexual orgies !

The British blogger Madame Arcati says a new book reveals that former Beatle John Lennon indulged in bi-sexual orgies. Former pop king Jonathan King who has sold over 40 million records in his time reveals the tale in his just released autobiography 65 My Life So Far.
                 There have been persistent rumours about Lennon's sexuality over the years especially concerning his manager and the discoverer of  The Beatles, Brian Epstein.
               Lennon's first wife Cynthia, who John married in 1968 but also had been living with since their art school days and possibly knew the Beatle better than anyone including Yoko Ono, details in her 2004 book John the complicated relationship between Lennon and Epstein.

          Although she denies it was sexual she does concede it was an extremely complex relationship with Lennon at times being excessively cruel to Epstein whist at the same time expressing his deep admiration for the man.
                   When Brian Epstein committed suicide in 1967 it was said that he was upset at the possibility of losing  management of The Beatles whilst close friends claimed that Epstein was distraught at losing his influence with Lennon who they said he was obsessed with. Cynthia says Lennon, assassinated in New York in 1980 was devastated at the news of Epstein's death.              
                    A contemporary of Epsteins, the music identity Simon Napier-Bell relates the tale of receiving a long rambling phone message about Lennon from Epstein on his answering machine the night the Beatles manager killed himself.
                  Jonathan King had his first massive hit record in 1965 with his song "Everyones Gone To The Moon" whilst he was still a university undergraduate and went onto have a string of pop hits over the years as well as producing records for top bands like 10CC and Genesis, worked with bands like Iron Maiden, Def Leppard and Whitesnake, ran his own record company, stood for Parliament, hosted TV shows and wrote for newspapers and produced the Eurovision Song Contest.
             He also did a stint in jail and currently has an appeal over that court case before the European Court of Human Rights.

King says in his book that "two or three times" in the 60s, Lennon stayed over at his flat with with several young ladies and was perfectly happy to indulge in a multi-gender session of stimulation."


65 My Life So Far can be obtained at Amazon.
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## tSS has had to sack one staff member after a kind reader pointed out that dreadful spelling mistakes have been rampant throughout posts. The office moggie Mildred Pierce who doubled as a sub-editor has been banished from the office and only fear of the RSPCA who have already pounced upon 2 cast members of "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here"over the demise of a rat prevents us from removing the feline from the building..

It's also recommended that one should always double check one's work if using one of those new mini laptops if your sight is not up to par.

"a legend like a character out of central casting.."

   Bob & Blanche Hawke                                                                Prime Minister Kevin Rudd

That's how Prime Minister Kevin Rudd described former PM Bob Hawke when I asked him for a comment tonight about the great Labor Party hero at his 80th birthday party. I think it was meant as a compliment. He added " I'm pleased he got to 80 and I hope he's around for another 20 years". I expect Bob thinks likewise.

150 of the faithful had gathered at Guillaume at Bennelong restaurant at the Sydney Opera House to toast the Golden Bodgie. Hawkie looked his best, resplendent in black tie and his silver mane had never glowed so glossily..
             There were a series of endless toasts from Labor luminaries and a recorded messages from Bill Clinton and golfer Greg Norman plus a live hook-up to former British PM Tony Blair who all sung Hawke's praises. And there were 2 billionaire widows in the room-Kerry Packer's widow Ros and Jeanne, the wife of the late Dick Pratt  who both proclaimed words along the lines of "Bob was good to us when he was in power". Well yes, quite.

Advertising guru John Singleton who masterminded Hawke's 3 election wins said "Hawke would still be PM today if it hadn't been for events"-possibly a gibe at that other Labor PM Paul Keating who had unseated Hawke in a party room spill. Keating sat looking stoney faced.
          
Handel's Messiah may have been thrilling a packed Concert Hall in the main body of the Opera House but this was after all, a celebration for the party of the working man so what could be more appropriate than a stripper gram. One with a difference-a slim female in a mask of Hawke's great adversary, recently trashed PM John Howard . She girated bizarley and slowly stripped. That was enough for tSS-we left just as Bob and Blanche-B1 & B2 were about to cut Bob's birthday cake-a giant golf ball !

John Singleton's squeeze Yvette Hartman in Versace



                                                                        


                                                                         Paul Keating

If striptease is your thing, check out Johnny Howard / Gypsy Rose Lee here
( warning -may offend  )

getting into bed with the Smiths

Mr & Mrs Smith, the British boutique hotel guide experts have finally launched their Australasian guide to the best inns around the country. Not only is this a guide to some of the most interesting and luxurious hotels in some of the most exotic locations , the guide also guarantees the best rates if you book via the Mr & Mrs Smith website

You won't find a Sheraton or Hilton in this book but you will find some fab places where Paris Hilton likes to relax. Victorias at Wategos in northern NSW is one such place where Paris bedded down. It's also hosted David Bowie, James Packer, Mick Jagger, Nicole Kidman and HRH Prince Harry who true to form, caused havoc in the numerous local night spots at the popular Byron Bay resort just around the corner from Wategos beach. (Victorias also has a Lear jet and helicopter on hand)                   
                                                                  Sigrid Thornton

                                                             Victorias at Wategos

Mr & Mrs Smith use a variety of guest writers from all fields to compile their reviews and reports. In this edition actress Sigrid Thornton, Vogue editor Kirstie Clements and party organizer David Grant contribute.
      Grant is the genius event organizer behind the legendary Cointreau Balls (they're now a university study subject) in Sydney and more recently has been overseeing major functions and parties at the last 4 Olympics. He hangs his hat up after the 2012 London games now that reduced budgets are eating into his ability to turn a small drinks affair into a bash never to be forgotten.

The tome was launched at chef Christine Mansfield's new eatery Universal in East Sydney.

       Vogue editor Kirstie Clements & David Grant


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Tonight sees 2 parties that tSS will be at with bells on. The 2010 Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras has it's official launch in Oxford Street with promises of a special star guest (last year it was comedian Joan Rivers) and at the Bennelong Restaurant in the Opera House former Prime Minister Bob Hawke celebrates his 80th birthday with a host of Labor Party luminaries including current PM Kevin Rudd.

the virus is spreading

tSS did say we may as well spread the tale and so it has begun. Right wing mouth piece and the first successful blogger Matt Drudge reports the non-story of the non-break up of Rupert Murdoch and wife Wendi 3 days after the Social Shuttle decided the tale should go viral.

Meanwhile HRH The Queen is threatening to tether the paparazzi if they don't leave her and her royal flock alone whilst on holiday at their various sumptuous palaces.

Perhaps the market will do the job for her as the sale in "celebrity" photos falters. The Social Shuttle's USA agent which distributes our snaps throughout the world sends a regular monthly statement and the latest contains a sales report for a batch of snaps to the glorious mag Hello-the Chinese edition.
      One sale was  for a pic of Murdoch and his wife Wendi (right) which has been published dozens of times throughout Europe and Asia and which featured in a recent Hello-it received the princely sum of $4.70.

everything old is new again

Let's hear a warm welcome for the diminutive Bonwyn Bishop MP who arrives back on the Opposition front bench, elevated today by the Mad Monk Tony Abbott. As a sometime walker of the Antipodean Iron Lady-who makes her heroine Margaret Thatcher look like a lefty-underneath that steely exterior tSS can report is a real party gal.

Bronny becomes Opposition spokesperson on aged care. She has experience here. In a similar role under PM John Howard she had to weather the storm that surrounded reports of pensioners being scolded in baths and doused in kerosene in Victorian retirement homes.

With a tSS produced Warhol style portrait dominating her Dee Why electorate office, Bishop had made many a senior public servant wilt under her fixed gaze and rapid fire questioning in Senate Estimates Committees.

Once, when Minister for Armed Forces Personnel, Bronwyn inspected one of the new Collin's Class submarines and later back on the wharf and surrounded by young smiling sailors announced to the assembled media flock: "I'm the first female politician to go down on a submarine !"

credit where it's due...

Top TV network, the former Kerry Packer owned TCN 9  is boasting on youtube in a news promo the fact that their political reporter Kevin Wilde:  "three months ago (Kevin Wilde) broke the news that Kristina Keneally would be our next premier,'' .

Wilde was slightly out in his predictions-he claimed Keneally would take the helm on Sept 1st- whereas the Social Shuttle said 3 months ago that " The Shuttle confidently predicts that within 2 months the new state premier will be 40 year old American born Kristina Keneally.". Wilde reported Keneally's ascension on Dec 3rd on the 10.30pm news. tSS blogged the news at 7.45pm the same night.

We were out by 4 weeks, Wilde by 3 months.
Channel Nine staff : 2000 plus . the Social Shuttle staff : 3 plus one cat.

## Tomorrow : tSS resident Thailand spy and former top Nine network GTV 9 sports broadcaster Rob Astbury reports on the latest goings-on in the seaside playground of Pattaya .

"14 days to seal history's judgement....'

Above are  the logos of 56 newspapers in 45 countries and today they are running, for the first time in history, a common editorial on a subject regarded as the most important to mankind this century, or as one puts it "We do so because humanity faces a profound emergency."

No-it isn't an announcement of the re-uniting of Peter Andre and Jordon. It's all about climate change (what else ?). Where does this leave new Federal Opposition Leader, budgie smuggler clad Tony Abbott who has surfed in on a wave of climate change denial with his Liberal Party moisten eyed in ecstasy at what they perceive as a New Leader who will deliver them from the wilderness of the opposition backbenches and probable oblivion in 2010 ?. Probably up the creek.

Read the UK Guardian's piece on the editorial and see if you can spot the Aussie tabloid in the pic above.

blogwatch...

an occasional series bringing you the latest from the web..

Tacky Weddings..a must see if you are planing your nuptials. No word yet if Melbourne's most famous bridal couple Mr & Mrs Geoffrey Edelsten will feature.






our favourite  : Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians   ...it's more common than you think !

some light relief..

Marky Mark Wahlberg's workout video to get rid of those extra kilos over Christmas..

splitsville for the Murdochs ?

It's been reported by the Sydney Morning Herald's 'PS' columnist Andrew Hornery that Rupert and Wendy Murdoch may have split. The story apparently appeared first on the net blog crikey.com.au.

the Social Shuttle (c)

 Although denials have been issued by News Ltd representatives, Hornery has quoted Murdoch biographer Michael Woolf of Vanity Fair : ''It's the oldest trick in the book,'' .[the Murdochs] never deny anything because they know it will just inflame it regardless of whether it is true or not.''

Woolf's The Man Who Owns The News , published in 2008 wasn't the best-seller expected. Whilst initially getting Murdoch's co-operation and interviews with the Dirty Digger, the relationship between Woolf and Murdoch floundered and the writer has kept up a running dialogue since via his VF column on Murdoch's attempts to grapple with the 'new media', plunging circulations of his world-wide newspaper empire and the endless speculation on who will run the massive News Corp empire upon Rupert's demise. He also revealed how a top News Corp executive regularly referred to the 3 contenders, Murdoch's children James, Lachlan and Elisabeth  as "the cretins".

tSS reckons this isn't a credible tale. But hey-let's send it viral anyway !
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Putting in a lively performance today in the 2 federal by-elections of is our newest political force The Australian Sex Party which is running on policies like:
* To create total equal rights in all areas of the law for gay, lesbian and transsexuals.
* Overturn racist laws that ban Aboriginal people from possessing erotic and sexual media in the Northern Territory.
* The listing of Viagra, Cialis and other drugs used to treat sexual dysfunction, on the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme
* Ensure the sexual rights and freedoms of the disabled and elderly.
Let the good times roll...here is their Bob Dylan inspired advert:

Rupert fibbed...

"An old monk shuffling around in Gucci loafers" is how Rupert Murdoch described the Dalai Lama. Not quite-sensible Hush Puppies is the choice of His Holiness and he ties his own laces as you can see in our exclusive (c) snap.

The Tibetian holy man was in Sydney for a 2 day science forum titled the Mind and it's Potential. And some of American's finest minds were on hand for the discussions including Dr. Martin Seligman who has been appointed by president Barack Obama to oversee the mental health of the USA's 1.1 million military troops.

Another guest was Dr. Paul Ekman (right)

 He's the inspiration for the TV series Lie to Me starring Tim Roth. Dr Ekman is currently working with the Pentagon and observing police in order to train them to recognise an impending violent act seconds before it occurs, via micro-

expressions, "enough time to take protective action," he says. Wow.

 The Dalai Lama has an extraordinary affect on people. As he works waiting fans and clutches their hands many either burst into tears or laughter. Even the Commonwealth coppers guarding him seemed to be on a high as one commented to tSS, that he had never enjoyed looking after an important figure so much. It's difficult to describe what this conference was about. You had to be there.There wasn't a dull moment and tSS came away on a high as well.

and so it came to pass..

So the tSS is 4 weeks out but as it was revealed just 5 minutes ago-our spooky prediction 3 months ago has come true. NSW has it's first female premier in the capable form of  Las Vegas born, American accented and former Colorado Teamster's Union organiser, 40 year old Kristina Keneally.

Keneally is the niece of Oscar winning author Tom Keneally who penned the bestseller Shindler's Ark which was turned into a blockbuster film by Steven Speilberg. Kristina was elected in a party room spill after premier Nathan Rees threw in the towel 30 minutes ago.
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# with the elevation of Tony Abbott 2  days ago to Federal Opposition Leader of the Liberal Party, tSS has slaughtered it's pet chook and studied the entrails. Ignoring our advice to stick with our pal Malcolm Turnbull and running with an Abbott/Bishop ticket ( Julie Bishop as deputy leader) the Liberals look likely to lose another 20 seats in next year's general election.
           Should PM Kevin Rudd pull a double dissolution with the full Senate up for grabs-the Greens will pick up an extra 2 seats giving it the balance of power in the upper house. 
(If only former treasurer Peter Costello had still been around-who could resist an Abbott & Costello team ?)
Prove me wrong.
(ps: we'll still be going to Mal's Christmas bash. We'll be bold here with another claim..a defection is in the air)

Talkin' 'Bout My Generation

An exhibition opens at Canberra's National War Museum today titled "of Love and War" which "looks at the impact of war on relationships and the ways in which Australians incorporated affairs of the heart into their wartime lives."

Featured in the exhibition will be works by the great Australian WW1 war artist George Washington Lambert. Lambert, one of the first of the colonies great artists has an extraordinary link with one of the world's most enduring and possibly greatest rock'n'roll bands, The Who.       
                                                                                  self-portrait :G.W.Lambert

Born in St Petersburg, Russia to an American father and English mother, Lambert's family emigrated to Australia via Germany in 1887 when Lambert was 13 years old. Winning a variety of art prizes and a scholarship to study at the Royal Academy in London, Lambert was hailed as fine portraitist and won numerous awards in the UK before returning home. In 1917 he became the official Gallipoli artist for the Australian government.

left : Pete Townshend & Kit Lambert

Fast forward to 1966 and a young ex-British army officer and budding film director sets out in London with partner Chris Stamp to find the ultimate rock band after watching the success of The Beatles and the Rolling Stones.

George Washington's grandson Kit Lambert was successful in his bid and launched the re-badged High Numbers onto the world as The Who. The Who's success has never waned and the band's music is still being used in current US TV shows. It was Lambert who patiently tutored Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey into seeing music in a new way. And thus a new genre-the rock opera Tommy was born.

The influences for Tommy came from George Washington's son, and Kit's father, Constant Lambert, the English classical composer and conductor who swept a young rising ballet star of her feet. A scandal swept London society when it was revealed that a 16 year old Margot Fonteyn had become pregnant to Constant. An abortion followed.

There was a running theme through the male Lambert's psyche-all were convinced they would die young. And so they did. George at 57, Constant and Kit, both at 46.

# of Love and War runs to 5th May 2010                                                           
                                                      
                                                           Christopher Wood's portrait of Constant Lambert

                                                                               

Hollywood appointment

                                                                                                Marie Sutton & Gordy Willesee

Jetting out to LA today is Gordana Willesee, wife of former TV presenter turned media mogul and more recently, re-confirmed Catholic Mike Willesee.

Gordana, a make-up artist who fell for Willesee while working at the Channel Nine studios, will be checking out the latest make-up techniques at various Hollywood studios and hopes to put them into practical use back in Sydney.

Gordana's the top favourite to touch-up major celebrities before they walk the red carpet at film premieres and has worked with some of the world's major movie stars.

  She took time off for a quick lunch at Ottos at Woolloomooloo Wharf with tSS and society maven Marie Sutton and brought us up to date on some of her husband's latest projects. Following the success of his Signs From God documentary in the USA in which Willesee explores various incidents of stigmata around the world, he is busy writing a book on the same subject.

Willesee is also pushing for further research on the Shroud of Turin and is backing a scientific analysis to see if  the artifact contains the blood of Jesus Christ. The Shroud goes on public display next year for six weeks at Chapel of the Shroud in the Turin Cathedral.

The Willesee's have impecable Catholic credentials with Mike re-discovering his faith in recent years. Gordana showed us the tiny Rosary beads that bear the Papal seal given to her when she and her husband had a private audience with Pope Benedict on his recent Australian visit. Recently at an exhibition opened by Cardinal Pell, Mike snapped up all 12 life size decorated statues of Christ which now decorate the large garden of his Centenniel Park's mansion, forming a pathway to his private chapel.

And when Gordana returns with her new skills she has her first client lined up-Hugh Grant when he attends the premiere of his latest flick Did You Hear About the Morgans?. But not before she is joined by Mike in LA who intends to whisk her off for a week at the Waldorf Astoria for Gordana's first visit to New York. 

Congrats, but who are you?

The New York Post discovers Dr Geoffey Edelsten & Brynne Gordon on their big wedding day except for one thing-they have no idea who they are.

Talk about fame by association. The Murdoch rag has run a piece about Seinfeld's Jason Alexander and Nanny star Fran Drescher who jetted in to attend the nuptials of the wacky pair but revealed the 2 stars hadn't actually met the bridal couple. Drescher and Alexander co-hosted the "glittering"wedding on Saturday at Melbourne's Crown Casino. They weren't alone as local radio and TV stars turned up clutching invites not knowing the bride and groom either.

The NYP also brings us the riveting news that the buxom Brynne hails from Brad Pitt's hometown of Shawnee in Oklahoma but ponders on how much Drescher & Alexander were being paid. We can illuminate here-$40K each plus first class travel and a suite at the Crown. Not bad for a lazy weekend Down Under.

And don't be surprised if the good Doc brings us news in the coming weeks of a fabulous investment he has and we can get in on the ground floor if we're lucky. He's that kinda guy.