Seeking Out Desperate Housewives !

There is an old maxim amongst Sydneysider socialites-"do not cross the bridge, do not go north", in reference to the leafier suburbs over the Harbour Bridge and along the North Shore where lay endless suburbs of impressive million dollar McMansions but little in the way of entertainment.

Sharon Sargeant joins the Desperate Housewives

With that in mind, the Shuttle sent one of it's more naive operatives into the far reaches of the mysterious southern suburbs of which we know little, in the search of Desperate Housewives.

 Our man in the field found them-at a charming little inlet nestled by the Georges River in Como and at of all places, a Thai restaurant.

100 locals and some from further afield had gathered to see (as our mole reports) a fab show of entertainment by 2 multi-Mo Award ( they're the gongs for live entertainment) winning performers, Krissy Stanley and Lizzie Taylor.

These 2 sing up a perfect storm with an endless patter of wit and anecdotes. Our chap was particularly taken with their impressions of Elaine Page and Susan Boyle complete with coughing fit as seen on Oprah Winfrey ( a report soon on the extraordinary security arrangements for Oprah's Oz tour-bigger then George W. Bush and Bill Clinton).

But there was more. An amazing medley from Ms Taylor as Tina Turner, Shirley Bassey and Cher had the crowd leaping to their feet to roar approval. Apparently the best impressions they have ever seen.

If you aren't as adventurous as our office boy doubling as a seasoned hack, in  early 2011 the Desperate Housewives are bringing their show to ritzy Double Bay which is in desperate need of their talents, having lost most of it's nightlife now that the Ritz Carlton Hotel has closed.

We'll bring you dates and all the info as it comes to hand.

Will our Max decide Britain's next election ?

Max with Carson Kresley

For a month now the tabloid media has been waging an all out assault on our favourite celebrity spruiker Max Markson who likes to think of himself as Australia's answer to Britain's Max Clifford. Originally from Bournemouth via a saucepan stall in a Shepherds Bush market, Max is Australia's top celebrity agent.
 

Max's crime was to disrupt the holy of holies-a cricket match. When model Lara Bingle, best known for the failed Oz tourism campaign 'So Where the Bloody Hell Are You?' discovered that a previous boyfriend footballer Brendan Fevola had distributed some topless snaps of her taken on his mobile phone, she did the only sensible thing. She hired Max to negotiate a deal reputedly worth $200,000 with a woman's magazine to tell her side of the story.

Lara does a Bingle

 Bingle's then fiancee  Michael Clarke, vice captain of the Australian cricket team was about to embark on a tour of New Zealand. As the team strode out for the first day, missing was Clarke. He had flown back to Sydney to see Lara. The howling of sport's writers, egged on by their tabloid comrades was deafening. Leading the moralising charge was Sydney Morning Herald cricket writer Peter Roebuck who delightfully informed us that 'to do a bingle' was new cricketing slang for fumbling the ball.

Others like the fragrant Miranda Devine weighed in wanting to know, just who was Bingle and what did this "airhead "do all day as Miranda pondered on the size of Bingle's IQ.

But Markson was deemed the villain of the drama.
Max was denying the tabloids their God given right to a saucy tale. And he was encouraging them to beat up the story to boost sales of magazine carrying Lara's story.

Beware of a reptile scorned.

Now Max has become the story as a newspaper yesterday revealed supposed emails to Max from a 'disgruntled' employee questioning the legality of  Max's ability to avoid speeding fines. Markson's business registered Mercedes has clocked up over $30,000 in fines but avoided being de-registered via a complicated loophole whereby a company can declare it doesn't know the identity of a driver when the offence occurred.

They're out to get Max and today tSS hears news that a writer from the UK  Independent newspaper is flying in to do a piece on Markson. 

 

As Britain's Labour Party and PM Gordon Brown vie to be re-elected they have brought in ex-PM Tony Blair to boost morale.

 Expect a major story to appear about Markson's involvement in Cherie Blair's ill-fated Oz book tour in 2007.
A charity that expected to receive substantial funds from the tour cried foul when the pot was discovered to be empty. tSS was ejected from one function after approaching  Mrs Blair and asking her if she might consider donating profits from her book to an Iraqi children's fund.

TigerGate # 2

It had to happen.

 tSS's favourite celebrity spruiker Max Markson has nabbed a piece of the Tiger Wood's juggernaut and signed up Las Vegas cocktail waitress, the delightfully named Jaimee Grubbs. Grubbs (right) first media appearance is a saucy photo shoot in the high brow English mag Zoo to be published this Tuesday.

Max has a few helpful words for Tiger to repair his image :"a stint in rehab for sex addiction like Michael Douglas" and some serious interviews on 60 Minutes, Oprah and Larry King. Max gets 20% of the take for this stuff.

Born in Bournemouth in the UK, Max failed his A-level exams, left school and began promoting pop groups and BBC Radio One disc jockeys, sold saucepans from a market stall in Shepherds Bush and finally ended up in Oz selling political slogan t-shirts. Now he's the antipodean answer to England's Max Clifford, representing sports stars and just about anyone who happens to hit the headlines, as long as there is a dollar to be made.

some of Max's clients:

left to right : Corey Delaney,  Bill Clinton,  George Bush Snr,  Mick Gatto ,Cherie Blair,

Maria Venuti