tabloids...not quite dead but on the way out

     The UK blogger Madame Arcati posts the following in response to a letter : "I take the view that newspapers by and large have outlived their usefulness, are generally bullying and vulgar, and do more harm than good in their present form."

      tSS agrees and nothing demonstrates this more than today's Galaxy poll conducted for the Murdoch Sunday Telegraph about the new premier of NSW, American born Kristina Keneally.

     Keneally's rise to the top has given her a 73% approval rating with the punters, as opposed to state Opposition Leader Barry O'Farrell-now into his 6th year in the job and floundering at 42% approval. Significantly-70% of Coalition voters approve of Keneally. In other words, they, as tSS has been saying for yonks-haven't warmed to their own party leader.


 
Keneally and Deputy Premier Carmel Tebbutt
 
          tSS outdid all other news outlets-television, radio and print by predicting Keneally would be Premier by November-she was on the 3rd December. At the time of the prediction one well know political pundit said at a party we were 'batshit crazy" .
         Following Keneally's election in a party-room spill both News Ltd and the normally sane Fairfax Newspapers went on a crazy rampage-accusing her of being a "puppet premier" to Labor powerbrokers Eddie O'Beid and Joe Tripodi .

      Both newspaper outlets ignored the fact that the Federal Coalition dumped their best chance at scoring a hit against PM Kevin Rudd by sacking the only man who-given time-would give him a run for his money, the extremely clever ex-merchant banker Malcolm Turnbull. Turnbull was dumped via the influence of right-wing Coalition power brokers like Nick Minchin who seem determined to lead their party to oblivion with the 'Mad Monk' Tony Abbott (right) in charge.
   That's power brokers on all sides of politics guys-just like it's always been and will be ever after.
     Even the pompous Peter Harvey of Channel Nine news tonight pontificated that  a certain percentage of voters perceive Keneally as a "puppet" !. Yes Peter-you have been one of the dingbats pushing the line since she was elected but get a grip-the majority of the state's voters aren't buying that line. Political journalists like Harvey have completely lost their way once they repeat tosh from tabloids.
    Both newspapers ran bizarre 'people's petitions' demanding an immediate election seemingly oblivious to the fact that 4 year fixed terms are now mandatory and could only be changed by a referendum  in 18 months time at the next state election and the end of the err.. current 4 year term.

        The tone of these 'people's petitions' changed slightly after about a month when both newspapers changed tack and began demanding Keneally and Labor visit Governor Marie Bashir and offer themselves up for election (still an impossibilty under current law) .
         The Fairfax Sydney Morning Herald's law expert Richard Akland, who describes NSW politics as "some of the nastiest on the planet" finally felt obliged to point this out to his own colleagues.

        If an 80 year old social snapper, a 6 a day G&T drinking blogger and a useless sub-editor cat at tSS can get these things right, as opposed to some of the oldest and most established news outlets on the planet, what hope is there for the printed media that cannot perceive that the great unwashed public just isn't interested anymore in their attempted machinations of public opinion ?.

       In 2007 Kevin Rudd made a conscious decision to ignore Murdoch's hysterical political pundits who were out to destroy his election campaign-furious that he wasn't paying the appropriate homage to them. Murdoch's pride and joy The Australian leapt into the fray with gusto reporting in shock and horror a lunch Rudd attended with lobbyists Brian Burke and business partner Julian Grill . Burke was a former WA Labor premier who had served a jail term.

        The Australian thought it was on a winner until ex-Labor PM Paul Keating-himself the victim of a vicious News Ltd smear campaign stepped in to describe Burke ( right )and Grill as the "Arthur Daley and Terry of West Australia politics", delightfully trivialising the whole affair. The only victim was then Murdoch favoured PM John Howard who had huffed and puffed with outrage at Rudd, but then had to accept the resignation of one of his own ministers who had also lunched with the pair.

       

    Again they came up with the startling story that Rudd, as a diplomat , had visited a New York strip club with New York Post editor and  Murdoch favourite Col Allan ( in the USSR it used to be called a honey trap). It backfired badly-the church attending Christian Rudd was just seen as a bit more human-his approval ratings dramatically rose.

        Then came the great 'utegate" scandal when Malcolm Turnbull-supplied with dodged up emails by a News Ltd hack, accused Rudd of attempting to assist a car dealer friend. The resulting damage winded Turnbull but The Australian political writers leading the charge were mortally wounded-their credibility shot.

         President Barack Obama deliberately sidelined Fox News in his campaign. He was vindicated. Only Britain is still enthralled by the tabloids as both PM Gordon Brown and Conservative Leader David Cameron fling themselves at the feet of tabloid writers and in particular, grovel for the affection of the Murdoch clan.

          Unfortunately one important matter is being lost with the plunging credibility of tabloids and newspapers. Real investigations. To their credit it was Murdoch's Australian journalists who perservered and uncovered the appalling fibs and illegal activities of the Australian Federal Police who had incarcerated the innocent Indian born Dr Haneef after the Glasgow Airport bombings in 2007. 

                  
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       Next Wednesday sees the first Australian singing appearance of Tallulah Rendall-the daughter of 'Christian The Lion' author John Rendall and London publicist and star of 'Ladette to Lady' Liz Brewer.

       

The Vanguard,a small venue in the very alternative suburb of Newtown says the night is already a sellout with a 100 booked for dinner. Expect Rendell to pull out all the stops for Tallulah's gala appearance with guests like Lady Sonia McMahon and her pal Glen Marie Frost along with Lady Atwill. Presumably John, flush with cash will deliver Tallulah in the vintage Roller he has just had shipped from London.

For those who have already forgotten the Christian the Lion saga-here is the youtube clip that made Rendall and partner Anthony 'Ace' Bourke famous. (It's a vicious rumour a camera assistant was standing behind the pair waving a hunk of raw meat.) Followed by a piece on Ivana Trump with Tallulah's mum Liz Brewer.

 

avoid Los Angeles this week..

Is Skippy on the menu tonight ?

           LA must be thrilled with it all-'G'Day USA' kicks off today with "Come Walkabout in Beverly Hills'. No it ain't a guided tour of movie star homes but an Australian 'cultural' event at the The Paley Center for Media, where the general US public is invited to sample Aussie wines, take walkabout travelogues and view cultural performances. Presumably a didgerdoo player-that always dazzles the crowds and maybe a few indigenous kiddies dancing.

         Tonight is the gala black tie dinner at the Hollywood & Highland Grand Ballroom where invited guests include Bryan Brown and Rachel Ward, Nicole Kidman and hubby Keith and acting brothers Chris and Liam Hemsworth. Liam is currently dating Miley Cyrus and the pair just jetted out from Melbourne after a secret visit.

        Other guests have been invited to accept an inevitable award-Greg Norman for sport, Toni Collette for 'Excellence in FIlm and Television' and the USA's current TV heart-throb who has just been voted the most popular man on television, ex -Home and Away star Simon Baker whose series The Mentalist may be pulling small audiences in the UK but is the USA's current Number One show.

 

There is no way the organisers could get away with not inviting Olivia Newton John of course and Honorary Aussie John Travolta who literally parks a vintage Qantas Boeing 707 in his backyard

 And it would be impossible to get this one of the ground without Avatar star-Sam Worthington.  Oh, and needless to say Russell Crowe along with Rupert Murdoch and wife Wendi.

    

But where is our favourite lady Dame Edna ?. Sadly her manager Barry Humphries says she has other duties back home to perform which also means no diplomatic representation in the form of Minister for The Yartz, Sir Les Patterson.

Entertainment sounds fine-with boy band Human Nature -but celebrity chef Peter Evans who will be feeding the guests ominously specialises in Kangaroo recipes and may present his take on the prawn cocktail-'prawn and avocado stack'.

Tickets-at from $5000 to $10,000 each sold out weeks ago.  And yes, of course Hugh Jackman will be the MC !
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ps : an email arrives to inform us we forgot to mention another star guest at tonight's LA dinner-former Miss Universe winner Jennifer Hawkins who will be with her boyfriend, the handsome model Jake Wall who has become a gay pin-up in the USA. Very re-miss of us, particularly as Hawkins hit a few headlines around the world recently with her Marie Claire magazine "un-air brushed" photo shoot.

The cover was the concept of Marie Claire's brilliant editor Jackie Frank, daughter of Melbourne social scribe Lillian Frank.

         tSS accompanied Jennifer on her triumphant 2 week tour of Oz when she won the title. Having been up close and personal on numerous occasions and in back stage dressing-rooms with Jennifer we can assure there are few imperfections that need to be air-brushed. Yet another superb campaign by Frank who fronted interviews stating she couldn't understand all the fuss !.
     tSS's snap of Hawkin's unscripted wardrobe malfunction (above) during that tour also hit a few front page newspapers worldwide earning tSS enough for a recuperating rest in Bali after the hullaballoo died down.
       Hawkins has gone onto to become the most successful Miss Universe ever, earning up to $5M a year in endorsements. She recently told tSS she has been offered a role in a US TV series. More about that soon.

Kate's lawyers after Aussie paparazzo....

        The report that Kate Middleton has instructed the Queen's lawyer's to pursue 2 photo agencies over the sale of snaps of Prince William's girlfriend adds more woes to Sydney based agency Ikon and it's likeable boss, the roguish snapper Peter Carrette. (right in white sunglasses)
   The report -on Murdoch's News Ltd website says the pics were offered to British newspapers, presumably The Sun and other News Ltd outlets but were graciously rejected but published in Germany (forgetting to mention the slight fact that the German publication is part Murdoch owned ).
   Carrette, who lives in a Bondi apartment owned by friend and actor Jack Thompson and originally from London, has lived most of his life patrolling Bondi Beach and snapping topless stars .
    He came a cropper in 2006 when he organised himself and 2 aides to squirt actor Heath Ledger with water pistols at a film premiere.

      "You need us " was their claim and Carrette fronted several TV interviews broadcast world-wide proclaiming his right to do just about anything to get a saleable snap.
    That stunt backfired badly when the giant film corporation Village Roadshow banned him from all future events. 2 days later Carrette was filmed walking up the steps of the late Ledger's recently purchased Bronte Beach seaside house and leaving a bunch of flowers at the door with a note.
       As he departed a male opened the door-ripped up the note and hurled the bouquet after Carrette. Within 2 months Ledger announced he was flogging his much loved house and moving to New York to escape probing cameras. He died there in 2008.
     But another blast from the past is about to arrive Downunder and is seeking an apology.

Mick Jagger's ex-girlfriend Marrianne Faithful will be in Sydney in a fortnight and has said she is still smarting from a snap taken as far back as 1967 when she and Mick arrived here for Jagger's film role as the bushranger Ned Kelly. Faithful ended up in hospital on day two after a suspected drug overdose.
      A photographer sneaked into the hospital in a doctor's coat with stethoscope and snapped Faithful as she lay in bed looking like death. The pic went around the world in a flash.

     tSS spoke to Faithful via telephone a week ago about her up-coming appearance at the Sydney Opera House where she will be joined on-stage by the Federal Environment Minister and fromer Midnight Oil's singer Peter Garrett and actor Tim Robbins in a show conceived by actor Johnny Depp.
      Asked about the infamous snap, Marrianne said she  had "sort of forgiven the photographer but  I might just give him a kick in the balls if I run into him "
       Step forward Peter Carrette . According to the News Ltd piece Middleton's lawyers have asked for financial compensation. Carrette claims he receives $50,000 a picture-even claiming that was what he received for the Faithful hospital snap in '67 (which in today's money would be about half a million). Plenty enough  for a lead-lined jock-strap to protect those bollocks.

A Bondi opening and a few brickbats...

Opening for 8 weeks over summer is the BondiSocial-the brainchild of amiable proprietor Hamilton Kings. BondiSocial will be operating on Sundays from 5pm and if you want spectacular views over Bondi Beach whilst sipping exotic cocktails on a large veranda-this is your spot.
Next door neighbour James Packer paid $5M for the same view although he's rarely there, either ensconced in his Palm Beach getaway or at the family compound in Bellevue Hill.

Hamilton Kings (left) and pals celebrate the opening

the view a private eye and 6 carats

Around 150 local identities turned up last Sunday to scoff vodka, beer and some rather heavy cocktails. It's difficult to tear yourself away from a margarita whilst watching the setting sun over a brilliant blue sky.

Amongst those checking out the restaurant were ex-Home and Away actors Damien De Montemas and Dieter Brummer-both who have starring roles in the up-coming 'Underbelly 3" series which

Underbelly 3 stars de Montemas & Brummer

concentrates on the infamous 'sinful mile' of Kings Cross in the 80's/90's when it was difficult to tell the difference between bent cops and gangsters. Also popping in-"the world's most famous private eye" Frank Monte and fiance Sharon Sargeant who appears to be sporting a rather large diamond engagement ring (6 carats I'm told).Monte told tSS of his exciting plans for his new youtube channel that will broadcast some amazing footage. Watch this space.
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## They either love us or loathe us. We send sub-editor Mildred Pierce into the mailbag first these days and if she emerges fur unscathed we know it's safe to open the emails : a few of late :

From Randy *******@aol.com

Date Sun 3 Jan 2009 02.32am

To societyoscar@gmail.com
Subject ; why do you hate America ?
I don know why I found this website but I see you had a go at our former President George W.Bush Jnr. What is with yu commie pinko fagots ?. Yor all the same. When you need us the good ole USA is there to save yor buts.

Dear Randy , we don't hate America ! We don't hate Americans !. It's just you personally we hate. Hated your guts ever since we first clapped eyes on you which is quite something since we've never even met you. I see you live in Alabama. Get out of your sister's bed right now and go back to your own room.
Love Oscar.

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From Frances****@*******.org

Date Sun 3 June 2009 03.44pm
To societyoscar@gmail.com
Subject : I wish you Australian journalists would learn to spell.

Dear Frances-so do I !. Personally I blame it on the minor English public school I went to and the English master who seemed to get his rocks off by whacking small boys with a cane instead of teaching them the three Rs.

lots of love.
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From Sharon****@gmail.com

Date Tues14 Dec 2009 08.45am
To societyoscar@gmail.com
Subject :Triffle and poppycock.....
You sir ..........yes you!!!!!

You are defaming all the whole world with your blog......First the lovely Kidman now our venerable Hoges.... for gods sake man have you no shame???
Now just only the other night whilst having sex with a member of the Upper House that he told one of our ladies of the night that you had come dangerously close to emasculating him in public as a charlatan and pimp .... and he a Lord of the realm too........ at our Salon Kitty no less getting his thing whipped.....
nay you be warry lest baaad rotten men come looking for yew one night???
Careful Oscar and Mildred too... foer she is an accomplice.... You may well fall off that NYE party 30th floor??
The Scarlet pimpernell aha!!!!!

Dear Sharon,
Please remember-your doctor said you must take the medication every day ! much love Oscar.
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From *******ben2006@yahoo.co.uk

Date Mon 28 2009 12.04am
To societyoscar@gmail.com
Subject : why so many poofs ?

Hi mate-why do you keep writing about fucking poofs and perverts in dresses (blokes) ?. Are you Aussies obsessed by these creeps ? . It sounds like the place is crawling with them-regards Ben ******** , Hastings UK.

Dear Ben,
you are quite correct-we do post quite a few articles about homos and drag queens. But it's the audience-we have to play to the audience and I'm afraid there are just a lot of poofs around. I have to let you in on a little history here though Ben.

In the 1950's the Federal Minister for Immigration -a Mr Arthur Calwell conceived of a brilliant plan to "populate or perish" Australia after the fright of WW2.
To that end he promoted Australia in the United Kingdom as a land overrun by homos and -yes -you guessed right-it worked !.
The Pommy migrants flocked here in the thousands as ten pound migrants.

Today you can see the success of that immigration program in the form of the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras that attracts up to one million English speaking homos and dykes. And there is even a float in the parade dedicated to Hastings Ben !. I wouldn't be surprised if it's over-flowing with heaps of your relatives ..lots of your uncles Ben, wearing delightful frocks!
much love, Oscar.

Heil King Henry IX !

 

 Well that's according to Nostrodamus and Mario Reading's

The Complete Phrophecies of Nostradamus.

King Charles III will abdicate in 2022 (yes-it will be Camilla's fault) and Harry takes over (no word on why William is by-passed). Expect Buck House to become fun city and a cross between Annabel's and your local boozer.

       Not for long-the Royal Family is gone by 2040 and Britain becomes a Republic and naughty France rejoices ! (don't worry-by 2098 France has descended into utter anarchy)

   

   

 tSS telephoned our regular psychic Mandy Miami ( right ) who is currently in Melbourne for our new century predictions but she wasn't giving anything away. 'Not since my run-in with Uri Geller over Michael Jackson" she said."

 " I keep my predictions to myself now", Mandy had written a raft of predictions for that august publication the National Enquirer and correctly predicted the winner of the Kentucky Derby, the next host city of the Olympic Games but one piece raised the hackles of thousands. Words to the effect of "within the coming year Michael Jackson will be involved in a huge scandal that will forever change his life and he will need to re-invent his image. He will marry but never be the same again".

       Sounds innocuous but at a charity dinner a few weeks later Geller declared his "close friend" Michael would never get himself involved in scandal  and to shove home his point he bent Miami's dinner fork, house key and stopped her watch.

       Nine months later the Jordan Chandler story erupted and the rest is history.

   Nostradamus,according to Reading's book, says there are rocky times ahead including the flooding of the Aegean Sea in 2016 .
       Things aren't looking too rosy for Pope Benedict with a new younger, liberal and more hip Pope taking over in 2012. That rules out the ultra-conservative Cardinal Pell of Sydney who was pipped at the post by his German pal.

        Hillary Rodham Clinton becomes president in 2015 with the prediction in the following quatrain :

The Masculain woman will exert herself to the north.

 She will annoy nearly all of Europe and the rest of the world

 (surely Sarah Palin ?.)

   Meat will be banned by 2031 and we'll all be vegans. Or maybe eating

Soylent Green. And the following year the new Anti Christ is born !

     Islamic terrorism is on the rise and new weapons will be actually secreted inside their bodies-forget body scanners. A waste of money.

         And finally the fear of White Australia will come true in 2037 when Oz and Indonesia go to all out war over who dominates the Indian Ocean.

    And a victory for the UK Independence Party in Britain when England leaves the Eurpean Union in 2064.

        

There are endless climate disasters ahead for us and most of New York disappears in an earthquake in 2083. There are tsunamis , locust plagues wiping out crops worldwide, earthquakes in Europe and a re-emergence of the black plague that wipes out huge amounts of the population throughout the world and Europe.

       But Britain is spared !. Not so fast folks. Over populated, the UK suffers from a famine. (remember-the locusts )

            And did I mention the asteroid that hits planet earth in 2069 ? So don't even worry about the global nuclear war that begins in 2070 and lasts for 20 years.

       

The Protestant and Catholic churchs will be kaput by 2070 and Buddhism is the new faith. And maybe Scientology with Tom Cruise as the new Messiah.

 It just gets worse after that so there's no point in being too pessimistic.

     

Basically we're all going to hell in a handbasket. So all in all-nothing much changes for the next ten decades and it's business as usual.!

 Happy New Year and have a great century !

              

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# our thanks to a regular reader Mr P.Taylor who pointed out some shocking spelling mistakes. Mildred Pierce is banished from the office yet again . Staff are hopeless these days.

But you have worse things to worry about really-the Anti Christ is on his/her way !

Earth to the Channel Ten TV network....

     The Magic Millions -one of Queensland's Gold Coast social events on the racing calendar wasn't the 'brainchild' of advertising man John Singleton and billionaire Gerry Harvey.

 It was the brainchild of publicity guru Angela Belle McSweeney . Angela conceived of the idea-put it together and launched what is set to become a race with the biggest cash prize in the world. Angela also helped build the Dubai Cup into a world major racing event and is often a guest BBC reporter at the Ascot races.

  Do your research folks- Singleton and Harvey took over the enterprize only recently and Singleton's most 'brilliant' idea to date was to bring American Pie actress Tara Reid ( who she?) out as the 'celebrity' guest a year after he launched his Bondi Blonde Beer with the oh-so-yesterday Paris Hilton.

Gerry Harvey & John Singleton demonstrate that adopting the late Kerry Packer's motto "always play to the lowest common denominator" pays off !

The Sport of Kings and queens

Mark down Friday 26th February as a Day at The Races not to be missed.

Royal Randwick Racecourse will hold the world’s first gay and lesbian race day.

The Pink Stiletto Race Day will be the ultimate social event in the lead up to the 2010 Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras.

Randwick normally attracts it's fair share of "colourful racing identities " (old gangster slang for a person of no fixed employment but loaded with cash) but this should bring thousands of racegoers, gay and straight, who will be‘coming out’ to Royal Randwick on the eve of Sydney’s Mardi Gras parade.

And the colour,the frocks,the stilettos !. It will give the jockey silks a run for their money and any race day at Randwick is like a fashion contest between well heeled gals trying to outdo each other but expect drag like you've never seen before.

Expect to see most of Sydney's best known drag stars-they'll be there-Kitty Glitter, Minnie Cooper, Miss Understood, Courtney Act, Sarah Pax.

Even our favourite neighbour Carmen should be there-pictured here at the funeral of the late Sydney King's Cross identity Abe Saffron.

Top horse trainer Gae Waterhouse ( centre below) is giving her support.

She's pictured with a couple of blokes in frocks and an escort who looks suspiciously like society hairdresser Joh Bailey's boyfriend Adam Williams. It's all for a good cause-the Bobby Goldsmith Fund which provides support for people living with HIV.

The Pink Stiletto, Royal Randwick Racecourse on Friday, February 26. Gates open at 11am. Tickets $15 from bgf.org.au.

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Stars lined up for 2010 Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras party so far include Whitney Huston. But don't forget you read it here first-George Michael will put in an appearance also.

"Why'd ya let her suck your cock.."

  It's a line from our favourite Marianne Faithful song Why'd Ya Do It written by the great poet Heathcote Williams. Why Williams never wrote another song for Faithful is a mystery.

 Hopefully she will sing it plus a batch of songs from that brilliant album Broken English when she performs at the Sydney Opera House on the 3rd February. Faithful's tour begins in Queensland on the 30th January.

The shows, with her full touring band, will showcase her critically acclaimed new album Easy Come, Easy Go  as well as drawing from the wealth of material from her expansive career.

  Reputedly Marianne dictated many of the words of Why'd Ya Do It to Williams when she found out her then boyfriend Ben Brierly, of the punk band The Vibrators was having an affair with a neighbour in Chelsea.

     And little did tSS know when we called in for Christmas lunch at that neighbour's house one year, that the owner would soon feature in a song that outraged the BBC which refused to give it airplay. They settled for the much more acceptable Ballad of Lucy Jordon.

       The house, a 4 storey mansion, was being rented at the time by the late brilliant Australian make-up artist Richard Sharah who created Zandra Rhode's amazing look.  During lunch Marianne called in for a few drinks and carried a bucket-to collect some coal from the cellar. She was down on 'er uppers at the time.     

           She transported at least 6 bucket loads of coal backwards and forwards from memory, saying "fuck the cow-she'll never miss it !". So Dickensian.

                 And she didn't even know at that stage that Ben was knocking off Sharah's landlady !

We aren't too sure about Marianne's heavily air-brushed publicity snap above-we prefer our own pic (at top)taken with Richard Sharah that Christmas day when she was on the coal shuttle.
               There is also a heavy rumour running about town the Environment Minister Peter Garrett-currently avoiding the media over the Whale War between Japan and Greenpeace and the ramming of the Ady Gil yesterday- is going to join Marianne on stage. Perhaps he'll do a duet on Why'd ya do it and dedicate to Japan. Or maybe the Ady Gil.

Here's Faithful's live version of Why'd ya do it but it has a habit of disappearing from youtube and below is our glorious Federal Minister of the Environment, the Hon Peter Garrett MP in one of his Midnight Oil Moments

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more worries for a Royal dynasty

        The world's tallest building is unleashed upon the Middle East in a blaze of fireworks in Dubai.  What would the view be like from that 124th floor ?

       As radio king John Laws ,
spotted yesterday lunching at Aria Restaurant deep in conversation with yet another 2GB boss (which may confirm rumours of his imminent return to radio) would probably say .."sand..lot's of f**cking sand!"

But largely unnoticed with the celebrations was an interview in a recent Dubai magazine aimed at the top end of the market with glossy avderts for the latest Rolls , Bentley or Aston Martin for the more sporty type.

  The sister of His Highness Sultan Qaboos bin Said of Oman worries yet again that the Sultan has produced no issue and from whence will come his successor ?. She has form here-and intimated before various aspects of her brother's life mainly aimed at his on-going bachelorhood status with nary a potential Sultana on the horizon.

 

   tSS did work in Oman for 3 months, around the same time as the noted gumshoe-or "the world's most famous private eye" as the Sydney Morning Herald recently called him, Frank Monte.

      Our paths didn't cross with tSS having secured employement via Britain which required signing the Official Secrets Act which also fortunately precludes us from disclosing the lowly position we held, unlike Monte who provided security for Omani Royal Family members and hunted out terrorist bases forming there(as detailed in his book The Spying Game).

     The Royal lineage of Qaboos dates back a few hundred years and Oman has been one of the most stable Middle East countries-rarely talked about-before and after  G.Bush Jnr & T.Blair hatched a plot to make the  friendly and generous Arab nations distrust us westerners forever.

      Qaboos only has around 3 million subjects and the capital city-Muscat is mysteriously beautiful and one of the most ancient cities on earth with traces of settlement dating back 5000 years. The people are few but friendly and His Highness has plenty of oil-wells which he has used to transform life for his people.

        In 1970 Qaboos,educated in Britain  at Sandhurst was locked up in the Royal palace upon his return by his father Sultan Said III bin Taimur. He was a suspicious old soul who sniffed a family coup in the air. He was right. The only visitor the young successor was allowed was Brigadier Timothy Landon, (right) a close friend from  Sandhurst and together they informed the old Sultan his reign was over, whereupon he pulled a pistol and accidently shot himself in the foot.

Whisked off in a waiting RAF plane to London, the old Sultan was ensconced at the Dorchester Hotel in a grand suite where he died in 1972-some claim while watching Coronation Street.

      With Landon's help (known in Oman as the "White Sultan") Qaboos transformed Oman into a pleasurable cross between modern living whilst preserving it's ancient customs. Landon was richly rewarded during his lifetime and became the go-between for the Sultanate and just about anyone who wanted to do business there.

   Ever loyal to Qaboos , he died at 65 in 2007 at his grand country estate in England and left a fortune estimated at nearly £80M  ($A140M), aided somewhat by what was claimed was a £IM gift from His Highness on each of his birthdays. At Farnborough airport he maintained his own Boeing jet and crew to visit Oman when summonsed.

Lawrence of Arabia could have been his role model-in more ways than one.

   Sultan Qaboos is hugely respected in the Middle East and much loved by his people-but as his sister says "what becomes of Oman when he passes ?". He is only 69 so there is still time to find a young bride, Perhaps that's what the succession of American male models who fly in for brief visits, advise him on.

From one palace to another for Sultan Said III bin Taimur-the Muscat Royal Family home and the Dorchester Hotel

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a brickbat arrives to put us in our place

       Following our story on the decline of the "paparazzi"-or the bunch of hooligans who have partly made the whole media business a complete nightmare, an email arrives to castigate tSS from someone who scarily, certainly knows tSS only too well.

       It's difficult to re-call the timeline of the events but tSS  aways carried a pocket Box Brownie in London and took the odd snap that occasionally appeared in such revered outlets like the legendary William Hickey column in the UK's  Daily Express or the World's Greatest Living Englishman Nigel Dempster's column  in the Daily Mail .

      tSS has been accused of many things including only recently by a former London scribe of note, of being a "peripheral character' on the London scene-whatever that scene was . We've always regarded this lifetime as sort of peripheral . We have been here before and most likely will visit again. You know-reincarnation and all that.

    Indeed at the recent event in Sydney at which the Dalai Lhama spoke and tSS had the opportunity to ask a  question-which was "will I return in another life and what will I be ?"-the answer from his Holiness was "yes ..as you !"..Brrrrr.

         Nigel Dempster was regarded as the man who invented the modern gossip column which was hugely successful until his latter years. Sadly he died relatively young at 65.

        He once hauled tSS over the coals on a Sunday afternoon at the Mail office when we delivered a snap which he ran the next day.

         He accused tSS of being a "dreadful Australian who probably calls a dress "a frock"-and did you fuck this woman to get the snap ?". (a movie star who shall remain nameless..and yes we sort of did-but we didn't- if you can work that out )  A right dressing down if somewhat bizarre. Or perhaps a "get frocked"

        It was most peculiar, especially at the time we didn't know Dempster's own dad was an Aussie-just like the sensational Mick Jagger who has an Aussie mum .

        tSS 's origins are far more murkier and mysterious although a few colonials do feature. It was always Dempster's favoured insult as we appeared in his office.."oh here comes that tiresome Aussie"

But being  accused of calling a dress a "frock". There really was no answer to that . What could one say ? . Dempster spat it out like it was the worst insult he could have hurled.

      

        But we digress. After our attack upon the paparazzi which the The Times saw fit to take up- a real blast from the past arrives that rips into tSS over a snap we took eons ago with a story so innocuous-which was duly reported by a Fleet Street rag, that 2 of HRH Prince Andrew's ex-girlfriends had  arrived at the same small soiree in a  house just of the Kings Road in Chelsea.

        Koo Stark  (left) was in one corner (not looking like that of course) and Katie Rabbet appeared at the door. Ms Rabbet popped her head in, and presumably on spotting Stark, immediately left.

      For God's sake £40 was a lot of dosh in those days-it paid the week's rent and a good night out at El Sombrero in Ken High Street. One had to sell the story and the picture and we doubt we sold our soul at the same time.

  Fast forward to New York 2 years later and tSS is at a party or some sort of gathering and receives a withering glance from Baroness Francesca Von Thyseen (right)-for it was she who held the party that Andrew's ex-girlfriends had attended.

 "How dare you" she said ,"reveal to the press what happens at a party you have been invited to !".      

            Well yes quite-one might agree if it hadn't been  her own publicist who had invited tSS in the first place, presumably-as we imagined-that publicity was what she sought for her then husband, a struggling a rock musician. (who seems to have been wiped from wikpedia's entry on the Thyseen family)

      As usual tSS did the only thing a gentleman can do-mumbled something incomprehensible and reached for another drink..

 Later, recounting the tale to La Dolce Musto writer Michael Musto (right) who now rules the world from a column in New York's  Village Voice he exclaimed.."my God !..she should talk..the Thyseen name is persona non grata in New York !" . We have no idea why.

 Amazing-after all these years you can still be tracked down !

And sub-editor Mildred Pierce -who opens all emails-is not a happy pussy.

          

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On a lighter note-

what you have always wanted to see :

Homer Simpson does McBeth !

Sydney can look forward to a fantastic appearance of MacHomer at the Wharf Theatre from January 5-23, before touring to Brisbane, Wollongong and Bathurst.

Rick Miller’s side-splitting and inspired one-man Macbeth transplants Shakespeare into Springfield, home of television’s favorite dysfunctional family, The Simpsons. With Homer in the lead and Marge as Lady MacHomer, Miller recreates the voices of more than 50 characters from the iconic TV series. It is very very funny.

check out this brief video :