Tales from The Dreamtime # 2

"I think JFK was murdered"

Thus concludes an article in the Aussie Who Magazine. It's a quote from the colourful ex-mayor of Geelong, former "King of The Paparazzi" and "media personality" Darryn Lyons, he of the hot pink cockatoo hairstyle.
We reckon Darryn's pretty spot on with this observation. A quick perusal of the shocking Zapruder Film shot on the day the US President died clearly shows something dreadful happened.
Apparently Lyons also believes the late Princess Diana may have died because of a conspiracy.

Whispers worked with Diana for three days on her last ever charity appearance : the launch of the Victor Change Institute in Sydney in 1995.

It was quite a shock to read some time later she was apparently having an affair with Dodi Fayed. Whispers had known Dodi in London for years and formed a quartet of party-goes and clubbers that included the actress Britt Ekland.
Most nights of the week we clambered into Britt's tiny black Mini, a gift from her ex-husband Peter Sellers and did the rounds of the West End clubs, like Maunkberrys and  Annabels.

One day out of the blue Whispers was invited to lunch with the then relatively unknown Mohamed Fayed. Mr Fayed had heard of our nightly jaunts and was perturbed about our mode of transport. He doted on Dodi. Fayed loaned Whispers a Mercedes for a year from his collection and requested we drive our little group about in what he said was a much safer vehicle.

When the ill-fated pair died in that Paris tunnel Fleet Street tabloids beat a path to Whispers door wanting the low-down on Dodi's' nightly activities, offering  big bucks for the story. We declined out of respect of Mr. Fayed's feelings even though there was much to tell.

Lyons says Princess Diana appeared on his doorstep one day to request that he photograph her ex Prince Charles and not her. Odd really as Lyons Big Picture photo agency was only created in London in 2002 and was dissolved in 2012. Diana died in 1997.

Darryn says he has photographs of Diana dying in that safe Mercedes taken by a paparazzi who worked for him, stored in safes around the world. We always believed the French police confiscated the paparazzi's film on that dreadful night.

In 2008 at the British inquest into the tragic accident the jury concluded Princess Diana and her companion Dodi Fayed had been unlawfully killed by a combination of the driving of their Mercedes by their chauffeur Henri Paul and the driving of following vehicles - the posse of paparazzi photographers who were dogging their final journey.
We'll just leave that one there.

Dreamtime

Melbourne has  Geoffrey Edeslten and Geelong has it's new clown town mayor 

Darryn ("Yes, I knew the Princess of Wales very well") Lyons (who gives jumping onto a trend ten years after it fizzled out new meaning). He's been featured in a Sydney Morning Herald piece titled The Emperor Of Geelong.
 My sources say the piece was heavily legalled and it would seem so as the article by Susan Chenery has less of the usual bite we can expert from the experience interviewer.
Still it gives us some insight into the label dropping (they should sue) , name dropping fantasy that now governs the lives of Victoria's second largest city. Probably the most pertinent sentence comes from Lyon's own lips in respect of Geelong's current troubles with collapsing businesses : "I am certainly not the saviour and I haven't got the magic wand".
# Is that a tasteful Charles Billich work of art on his wall ? I think we should be told.
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Kylie Minogue did a surprise concert last night at the Beresford Hotel in Surry Hills after she spent all day tweeting that should be there.

Hizzoner The Mayor

And now a word from the Honorable Darryn Lyons, Mayor of Geelong :

Creditors of the defunct Big Pictures photo agency in the UK are advised to form an orderly queue...

Arrivals #2

Having fled back to his native Geelong leaving behind a broke Big Picture Agency in the UK, the unfashionable haired Darryn Lyons who labels himself Mr Paparazzi has announced his candidacy for Mayor of the illustrious Victorian city.

Lyon's Agency went bankrupt in the UK last year with photographers claiming they were owed unpaid royalties.  In 2008 Lyons was ordered to pay actress Sienna Miller $40,000 in damages for harassment and he lost an appeal against Harry Potter author J.K.Rowling who won a court case against his agency,
Virgin Atlantic also launched an inquiry after it discovered employees were feeding Big Pictures confidential celebrity travel details. Last year Lyons left his garish London flat with it's Warhol prints ( although how Andy managed to paint Lyons when he died in 1987 is a mystery) by co-incidence just as the Leveson Inquiry was getting underway.
Now settled in Geelong Lyons has joined the Liberal Party (have they no shame ?) and a few days ago announced that he would " call upon ideas from overseas, particularly London, and use my high-profile contacts to benefit Geelong. "My ideas from worldly knowledge and travel knowledge about looking at other cities and how it works and looking at the concept for success is my key platform for the future,". Yes dear. Whatever.
Alas the voters of Geelong may have other ideas if comments in the local newspaper are an indication: these are some of the nicer ones.."No way", "Good grief, please get us a leader with business smarts and a personality. Blue hair belongs at Bingo sessions". "Ratepayer funded cosmetic six packs for all council members as the first priority."

Geelong

 " craves attention, delusions of grandeur and no style what so ever"..."Geelong must be the laughing stock of Australia over this farce"....."People were stupid enough to vote for Tony Abbott so anything is possible."...."It's not often you see mutton dressed up as mutton."

Going Out In Style

Luna Park

Darryn Lyons

Some years ago the Shuttle attended a function at one of Sydney's most fab restaurants Quay.
 With it's glorious views over the Sydney Opera House, the Harbour Bridge and Luna Park (motto : 'Just For Fun') and a reputation as one of the world's top restaurants, it was one of those parties you just don't turn down.

The occasion was the Australian launch of Big Pictures- a newish paparazzi agency that was set to take Australia (and the UK ) by storm.

In typical Shuttle faux pas style we questioned just who was the conservatively suited rotund chap before us (protectively eyeing our third glass of Moët).
" I am Big Picture", he responded.
For it was he : the (not yet) cockatoo haired Darryn Lyons, late of Bendigo in Victoria and soon to take London by storm.
Sadly it's all come adrift. While the broadcaster Alan Jones' (left) media career seems to be plunging downwards- only days after the Shuttle sipped drinks with him at tailor John Serafinos's 50th year celebrations-so too is Big Picture grinding to halt with the announcement that it is in administration.  Read it all in the Press Gazette.

More Woes at Big Picture

The blows just keep coming for the cockatoo haired Darryn Lyons of Big Picture fame - the agency that recently announced it was having 'cash flow' problems.

A freelance photographer says he supplied Big with photographs that were sold but he is owed nearly  £5000  and is threatening to issue a 'winding up' notice unless he is paid. Read more in the UK Press Gazette.

Big Picture,Big Fail.

New York photographer Bill Cunningham

Bill Ranken (Katie Preston Toepfer)

One of the regular gripes of the Shuttle is today's new breed of 'publicists',  PRs or whatever they are called these days.  Usually coming armed with a degree from somewhere.  Apart from a few notable exceptions they can be arrogant, grand and basically clueless about the job they do.

All three contributors to the Shuttle have worked in the media and with publicists in New York, London, LA, Paris, Melbourne or Sydney with about 100 years of experience between us.
Without a doubt, Sydney has the grandest PRs of them all.
We've inter-acted with publicists in London and New York who handle some of the biggest names in the movie business and some of the most successful products and brand names in the world. They are on the whole professional. polite, knowledgeable about their product and the business and most especially, the media. In Melbourne or Adelaide they will be far better mannered.

Hand in hand with this lot come a few photo agencies who have corrupted the entire process, stacking press shoots, promotional functions, movie premieres and so on with part-time aggressive , arrogant photographers armed with digital cameras and with nil interest in the subject. It's all about money.

A perfect example of how today's publicists really fail on the job is when one of Australia's most senior and most respected photographers and Shuttle contributor Bill Ranken telephoned both Myer and David Jones about their recent Spring/Summer fashion parades.
You would think that Ranken representing the local newspaper Latte Life that circulates throughout the well heeled suburbs of Sydney's Eastern suburbs, to the most wealthy streets and residents in this country, to readers with wallets stacked with cash and credit cards to spend on fashion, would be welcomed to join the ranks of the scruffs in the media pen. Alas, he was 'too late' according to a PR operative.

Darryn Lyons

At 83 years of age there is  a very good reason for having Ranken cover your event. Like Bill Cunningham in New York. he knows everybody and their mother (and often dated their grandmother). It's an important factor. Meanwhile the Shuttle was there and noted 2 photo agencies had at least 8 snappers between them in a sort of scatter gun approach of garnering photographs of today's instant 'celebrities' from every conceivable angle. We've searched high and low and not one single picture they took has been published. One newspaper photographer, a regular on the scene, walked off in disgust as he was asked time and time again the name of each person he snapped, by the paparazzi.

When the Big Picture agency burst on the scene over a decade ago, the cockatoo haired owner Darryn Lyons acted like he was about to re-create tabloid publishing as we know it. Perhaps he was right.
The Daily Telegraph recently ran this piece Revealed: How truth and lies mingle in Lara Bingle's nude photo scandal, reality was something different.
In April  London's Telegraph newspaper revealed how Big Picture had been paying a Virgin Airlines employee to supply flight details of the travel movements of stars.

Now the UK Press Gazette says the agency is having trouble paying staff and photographers.

Leveson, Murdoch, Zac Efron and Richard Branson

In February the Shuttle pondered as to why the most disliked paparazzi, both in Australia and the UK, the Big Picture agency lads had seemingly gone to ground.

Their boss, the tubby Darryn Lyons appears to have set up house in Geelong where he originally came from and has toned down his act even resorting to just one colour in his dated Mohawk hair cut.

We already knew some details of the scandal that eventually broke around ten days ago in the British media-that a Virgin Airline employee had been selling celebrity travel information to the agency.

 Our source says Virgin legal eagle's have gone into extended huddles to see if any other employees have engaged in similar behaviour. Word has come down from high-Sir Richard Branson that no stone is to be left unturned and that there are to be none of the debacles that have surrounded Rupert Murdoch's News Corp in the phone hacking scandal.

But is it just the tip of the iceberg?. The Shuttle hears that two more airlines have begun investigating staff after tip-offs that claim similar practises were underway. Closer to home, a local photographic agency may be in the frame for paying airport employees for confidential information.

A firm which supplies security personnel and drivers for visiting celebrities is conducting internal reviews over long time claims that employees would supply selected paparazzi with celebrity movement details in exchange for cash. One Sydney car hire business hires drivers who have held dual roles in the past-driving around celebrities like Rupert Murdoch and working in their spare time as paparazzi.

# Just to show we have no hard feelings towards the paps-here are some snaps supplied to us of movie heartthrob Zac Efron in Sydney yesterday.
There is (mostly) no truth to the rumour a publicist notified photo agencies that Zac would be breakfasting on the balcony of his Park Hyatt Hotel suite at a certain time.

Abbey Under The Knife

She was the face of Versace's 2011 Spring campaign and this year the face of Gucci but gorgeous Australian model Abbey Lee Kershaw was absent from much of the catwalk at the recent New York Mercedes Fashion Week.

Now Patti Huntington of the [frockwriter] blogspot has revealed that Abbey is to undergo an operation in the Big Apple today because of a knee complaint that has troubled her for several years. Kershaw has taken a tumble at a few fashion shows which would not have helped her ligaments and fainted once at an Alexander McQueen parade.

Huntington also speculates the world's no 5 top model may be working on a project with Stephen Spielberg. Read more at [frockwriter] and see more of Mario Testino''s wonderful pics of Abbey here.

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     Duty Calls...

 An odd thing has been happening in the local media scene over the past few months.
Amongst the loose  gaggle of  paparazzi who attended every media event in Sydney and Melbourne, several of the more eager (read aggresive ) members have been no-where to be seen.

The lads from Big Picture seem to have vanished into the mist, coincidentally just as the Leveson Inquiry in the UK went into second gear.

Run by the self styled Mr Paparazzi Darryn Lyons of implanted six-pack fame, the Big Picture crew were all over the place in the last few years, exasperating the oldtimers of the pap scene who relied on keeping a low profile. In the UK they were equally disliked by the regular celebrity snappers who hang around outside the homes of the famous.
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Lyons is currently starring in Excess Baggage, the bizarre TV show where viewers watch a bunch of  minor celebrities like Ajay Rochester and Kevin Federline (Britney Spears's ex) try to lose weight. It's a bit like watching paint dry.

Could the low profile of the Pig Picture snappers and Mr Lyon's extended stay in Australia have anything to do perchance, with the fact that Justice Leveson wishes to call a representative of the paparazzi to the witness box and interrogate them over their relationship with the late News of The World and accident prone The Sun ?.

Lyons has claimed he got his start in photography after a 'chance meeting' with Rupert Murdoch (although the great man when once asked said he'd never heard of Lyons). Whatever happens the name Murdoch is probably not the best one to drop should Mr Paparazzi end up in front of M'Lud.

getting it wrong again..

The increasingly tiresome 20 to 1 gets it wrong again.

Hosted by the amiable Bert 'Moonface' Newton, the show that has a bunch of minor celebrities commenting on other celebrities, including this character who claims he is "king of the UK paparazzi', Darryn Lyons whose rainbow coloured hair still doesn't detract from his pudding shaped face.

Lyons made a gaffe to rival the dud TV show he fronted in Australia and his autobiography that was launched in a blaze of publicity and was soon forgotten.

Moonface Bert above pudding faced Darryn (right)

Guffawing that Bond girl Caroline Cossey was exposed as the "first sex change " to appear in a film (For Your Eyes Only) in 1981, Lyons ignores the fact that one of the most famous cases of gender reassignment surgery, April Ashley appeared in The Road to Hong Kong with Bob Hope and Bing Crosby 2 decades before.

The story appeared in Duncan Fallowell's 1982 biography of Ashley, April Ashley's Odyssey.

April's auto-biography The First Lady (published by the distinguished John Blake) had to be pulped when it was discovered to be a re-hash of Fallowell's book. Ashley had claimed affairs with Michael Hutchence, Peter O'Toole and Omar Sharif amongst other notables although most denied it .

April should have taken Shelley Winter's advice to a gal pal who needed more lovers to spice up her book when Shelly advised.."if they're gay or dead just say they were lovers and they'll never deny it". At least she was right in Hutchence's case.

# Lyon's Big Picture agency and others like Splash could be badly affected by the new law signed in California today by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger that will severely restrict the intrusive actions of the "stalkarazzi' as they are known. The law will put the onus on photographers agencies and publishers of material equally with large fines making them all liable to law suits from aggrieved celebs who claim their privacy has been breached. Which isn't often in Hollywood where the norm is to have your publicist phone ahead to alert the media when one is out on a private shopping excursion.But it does give stars even more control over their public image.

Most LA agencies only have themselves to blame. For the last 10 years they have been loading up unemployed immigrants with cameras, sending them out into the streets en masse to surround a star's house or car to cause havoc. Payment for any resultant photograph is filtered down to the increasingly desperate snappers. Something had to give.