Did The Terminator Murder Lord Lucan?

JUST when you thought it was safe to venture onto the streets of Britain clutching your mobile phone and listening to your hack-free voicemail messages comes news that the News Of The World has re-surfaced as newsoftheworldonline.eu an Internet newspaper that looks like continuing in the finest tradition of the late great Sunday tabloid put to rest by James Murdoch.

And it has some extraordinary news stories worthy of that great organ that specialised in errant vicars dabbling with choir boys and so on.

For instance the lead story claims the former Governator of California and famous movie star Arnold Schwarzenegger may have been the monster who bashed an innocent nanny to death on the staircase of a Belgravia townhouse, mistaking her for Lady Lucan, and then in order to cover up his crime, murdered the infamous Lord Lucan, gathered up his body and dumped it in the grave he had earlier prepared for the body of the good Lady.

Diane Passage

And there the Lord has lain since-not as previous theories have claimed, hiding out in Goa, Bali, South Africa or Zimbabwe. Murdered by the Terminator who it's claimed, worked as a gambling debt collector in London in 1970s.

Publisher of the NOTW online is the colourful  Gionvanni di Steffano (a solicitor for Saddam Hussein and Muammar Gaddafi) and the editor is Michael Biggs, son of the Great Train Robber Ronnie Biggs. 
 In fact the entire editorial staff of notwonline could be called 'colourful' including the food writer Hudi Hoggi, astrologer Mystic Margaret and the dashing young Royal writer Ian Strachan ( so close to the Royal Family that he has just been a guest of Her Majesty for the last few years).

There is a Society column written by Birgit Cunningham who manages a quite dizzying round of cocktail parties and a Security & Diplomatic contributor-our favourite former Monte Carlo spy master Robert Eringer  (see the Shuttle ).

Fred & Zsa Zsa

The USA Entertainment Editor is the very glamorous Diane Passage whose former career was as a stripper at the infamous Scores strip joint in New York.
Regular Shuttle readers may recall Scores is where Labor Foreign Minster spokesman and committed Christian Kevin Rudd MP dallied one night with Col Allan editor of the Murdoch tabloid New York Post, a scandal that surfaced co-incidentally just before his election as Prime Minster in 2007. Some say the publicity is what got him over the line.

But the piéce de résistance must  be the contributing US Show Business Editor, our favorite European noble Prince Frederic von Anhalt who in his spare time doubles as the husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Sadly Prinz Fred has only filed one show-biz report to newsoftheworldonline but his own life is far more exciting. Readers may recall he was found a few years ago naked and handcuffed to the steering wheel of his own Rolls Royce after a dispute with some ladies who stole his wallet. Others may recall that Freddie claimed to be the father of the baby of the late Anna Nicole Smith even though many say the former masseur "bats for the other team"

While poor Zsa Zsa at 94 years old languishes  in hospital minus a leg, the Prince's website brings us the news that David Hasslehoff's ex-wife Pamela Bach has offered her uterus for Freddy and Zsa Zsa's use  in order an heir may be produced.

Ronnie Biggs

There's even a choice quote from Ms Bach's representatives on Prince Freddy : "we refuse to acknowledge the ramblings of this delusional man who has done nothing more than plant a fictional tale in a desperate attempt for attention ". 

There is a nice symmetry to the stories carried by newsoftheworldonline including the claim former British government minister John Stonehouse (who was arrested in Australia after he faked his own death-initially on suspicion of being Lord Lucan) was the mastermind of the Great Train Robbery in which the online newspaper editor's father Ronnie was a participant.
Rebekah Brooks -eat you heart out !

Zsa Zsa fading fast

Zsa Zsa & Frederick

The words 'high camp' could have been invented for her and she's been a Hollywood stalwart for decades with her 'Hello Darlink" greeting in her Hungarian accent. Sadly the wonderful Zsa Zsa Gabor is quietly slipping away according to her ninth husband Frederick Prinz von Anhal. 

At 93 years of age, 2 days ago Zsa Zsa was admitted to the  Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center after a fall following hip surgery. Today she summonsed a priest to perform the last rites.

Born  Sári Prinzessin von Anhalt in Hungary in 1917 into a Jewish family with 2  famous sisters, Eva and Magda, Zsa Zsa began her show business career as an opera singer in Vienna before Hollywood beckoned and along the way, a string of husbands. She had one child to her 2nd husband, the hotel baron Conrad Hilton (great grandfather of Paris Hilton) which she claimed was the result of a rape by Hilton.

Always tongue in cheek, Gabor has never taken herself seriously and is famous for some of her quips. Once asked during a TV interview about the high number of marriages she responded "I was always a good housekeeper-every time I divorced I kept the house ".

In 1989 she famously slapped the face of a Beverley Hills cop who Zsa Zsa said had been exceptionally rude to her whilst writing out a speeding ticket. Sentenced to 3 days in jail, she proved so popular with fellow inmates they launched a petition for Zsa Zsa to spend more time in a cell.

The Shuttle was privileged to meet Gabor once at a dinner party at London's Embassy Club in honour of the British actor Richard Johnston given by Zsa Zsa's good friend, the London society maven Lady Edith Foxwell. At the time Lady Edith-then in her 60s was dating a 22 year old Caribbean boy.

"You won't be able to bring him to Beverley Hills " said Zsa Zsa to Edith loudly across the table of 20 guests. Lady Edith responded by hurling a bread roll at Zsa Zsa and a (literal ) bun fight began with Zsa Zsa eventually storming out.

Lady Edith said Gabor later relented and invited her and her black boyfriend to stay in LA for 6 weeks. One day whilst admiring the beautiful gardens in Zsa Zsa's mansion Edith asked which husband she got the house from.  

Zsa Zsa responded " I can't quite remember- 5th or 6th ?.. but I know he was immensely rich"

They don't make them like the Gabor sisters anymore. Send your prayers to Zsa Zsa as she ails in hospital.

Zsa Zsa in 'Queens From Outer Space" followed by husband Freddie naked in his car !



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Tweet of the day : yokoono I woke up in a room in my parents’ summer house It was in Japan. I was seventeen. about 1 hour ago.

Comings and goings..

A reminder this week of a once grander Australian social scene with the passing of 2 stalwarts.

Pat Tudor

In London the former beauty queen Pat Tudor has died after a tragic accident when she fell down a set of steep marbles stairs in her Knighstbridge home. Aged only 68, Pat was regarded as one of the great beauties of her day. 

Tall. elegant and with impeccable manners and poise she was crowned Miss Victoria in the early 1960s and forged a highly successful modeling career in Melbourne and Sydney before moving to London to act as a sort of roving ambassador for Qantas.

She was also appointed as Kerry Packer's personal UK representative and up until her death still liaised with Kerry's widow Ros and son James Packer, organising all travel arrangements whenever they visited the UK.

When the Packers wished to throw a shindig in the Old Dart, Pat was the girl to get the details right especially when high profile guests like Rupert Murdoch or Lord Rothschild and Sir James Goldsmith were expected.

Pat had only recently attended the Ascot races with visiting Sydney broadcaster Alan Jones.

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After a lifetime of refined wealth the last scion of the David Jones department store empire, Charles Lloyd Jones has died after a long illness at 77.

Lloyd Jones' funeral was held at All Saints Anglican Church in Woollahra yesterday and a who's who of the retail world turned out to send him off.

Sidney Baillieu Myers from the Myer empire (he married the daughter of Sam Horden from Hordens), John Walton of the Walton Stores chain and former newspaper publisher James Fairfax all attended.  Former premier Neville Wran read the eulogy along with nephew Edward Lloyd Jones. A wake was held at the nearby home of Lady Pagan, widow of the former High Commissioner in London Sir Jock Pagan.

Charles Lloyd Jones, a confirmed bachelor was born into extraordinary privilege and wealth. Brought up in the magnificent Rosemont mansion in Woollahra he attended Tudor House and Cranbrook, being ferried to and from school in a chauffeured Rolls Royce. Shy and easily embarrassed., he would ask to be dropped off around a corner.

With his father an avid art collector, Rosemont was packed with valuable artworks amongst them  a Chagall, Picasso, 2 Van Goghs and a Rembrandt

Weekends were spent at the David Jones corporate summer house at Palm Beach. Lloyd Jones became chairman at the family store  (begun by his Welsh grandfather David Jones in 1838) when his brother David died suddenly and later  he headed the advertising department. It was Charles who introduced the houndstooth pattern that has become so synonymous with the store. Today flags at all of David Jones flew at half mast.

In later years he fell on financial hard times. Charles invested  most of his money in a scheme proposed by 2 friends that fell apart within 3 years. He was broke and suffering cancer and the 2 friends agreed to re-pay him $3000 a month, expecting the payments to last less than a year. But Charles survived the cancer and outlived the 2 friends putting him in a precarious financial state.

A brief scandal ensured in the early 1990s when it was claimed that Lloyd Jones and , improbably the American actor Karl Malden (who had never visited Australia) had allegedly attended a notorious Kings Cross bar frequented by underage male prostitutes.
Friends who had been trying all their lives to get Charles to just once, walk into a pub or bar and never succeeded found the ridiculous claim a huge joke.Those who knew Charles well noted his preference for rather muscular male gentleman but he did score on one occasion with a lady who fell for him and wanted marriage-Zsa Zsa Gabor !

                                       
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And off briefly to the launch of a new Samsung TV where the guest of honour was actor Simon Baker who was voted by US magazines as the World's Sexiest Man. Simon says he never watches The Mentalist , the series that has brought him stellar fame throughout the world as it's hard enough making the series to also have to watch it. 

With family in tow, he was soon off to north NSW to the once sleepy former whaling village that is pricing out locals, Byron Bay. Earlier this year Baker paid $1.5M for a nice but average sized cottage in the hinterland of the resort.