For days Pauline was ahead on first past the post votes. As absent votes were counted she slipped into second place with a Green and a Liberal MHR finally seizing the last two spots.
Seats in the Upper House are worth their weight in gold and are the cushiest lurk in town . A 6 year term at about $180K per annum and if you win a second term you qualify for a lifetime pension, gold travel passes and all sorts of goodies.
An unlikely supporter has come forth in the form of Andrew Gilligan writing in the UK Telegraph. In a piece titled "AV- it's nothing to shout about" he gives a few examples of NSW politicians elected under the AV vote :
"At a drunken party in his parliamentary office, the Police Minister, naked but for a pair of “very brief” underpants, climbed on top of a female MP and pretended to have sex with her. The Health Minister, who was 53, used his office to entertain his 26-year-old mistress. The Ports Minister visited porn sites on his official computer.
The Regional Development Minister – known to the local tabloids as “Sir Lunchalot” – charged taxpayers for a holiday to Dubai and Italy. The Education Minister promised to “stand by” her husband after he was arrested buying ecstasy. Several ministers were implicated in a corruption scandal involving a female town planner who approved illegal high-rise buildings in return for sexual favours and designer handbags. And the Aboriginal Affairs Minister? Well, he is doing 14 years after his conviction on multiple counts of child sex abuse."
Ouch !
(He missed out on the replacement Police Minister who was recently embroiled in a sandal involving a gay bath house)
Gilligan actually gives a pretty balanced run-down on how AV voting works in Australia despite being an obvious opponent of it. He also gets stuck into Question Time in Canberra and the insults that fly back and forth.
But are our politicians any worse than their British counterparts in the insult department ?. We sought out our resident parliamentary insult expert , the great Mungo MacCallum who provided a list of some of the choicest terms used by the master of put-down, former PM Paul Keating who referred to various Opposition members as :
harlots, sleazebags, frauds, immoral cheats, blackguards, pigs, mugs, clowns, boxheads, criminal intellects, stupid crooks, corporate crooks, friends of tax cheats, brain-damaged, loopy crims, stupid foul-mouthed grub, piece of criminal garbage, dullards, stupid, mindless, crazy, alley cat, bunyip aristocracy, clot, fop, gigolo, hare-brained, hillbilly, malcontent, mealy-mouthed, ninny, rustbucket, scumbag, scum, sucker, thug, dimwits, dummies, a swill, a pig sty, Liberal muck, vile constituency, fools and incompetents, rip-off merchants, perfumed gigolos, gutless spiv, glib rubbish, tripe and drivel, constitutional vandals, stunned mullets, half-baked crim, insane stupidities, champion liar, ghouls of the National Party, barnyard bullies, piece of parliamentary filth, lick spittal dogs vomit.
Keating once labelled Treasurer Peter Costello as "all tip and no iceberg"and described John Howard as a 'like a desicated coconut":
When the Opposition attacked him over his late filed tax return Keating said they were "playing the man not the ball" . A Liberal MP exclaimed ": "Oh, for goodness sake, Mr Keating! Only last week you called the Opposition front-bench 'sleazebags'!"
Keating replied "But that was a generic term, describing the Opposition front-bench as a whole. I wasn't insulting any particular person."
We nearly lost Pauline for awhile. She sold up a year ago and emigrated to the UK claiming Australia was full of Muslims and other undesirables ( a DNA ancestry test once revealed her origins as being central Turkey) but soon returned claiming that Britain was "full of immigrants". The irony was lost on her.
Here's Pauline in her famous 'I'm dead' video :
