"If you don't know Patrick-you should go out more" : Andy Warhol

      What better way to start a new year off than a shameless plug for a pal. The above quote is genuine-tSS was there when the late Andy Warhol said it. Patrick McMullan has been New York's top society snapper for going on 20 years now-in fact he's probably the USA's most sought after photographer for social get-togethers.

     Patrick has regular columns in Warhol's Interview Magazine, Vanity Fair (for which he's a contributing editor) New York Magazine, Ocean Drive,  and a few others. His pics appear in basically every US newspaper and around the world. He's one of the guys on the inside. Even Paris Hilton 2009's 2008's famous party girl says no party is complete without Patrick in attendance. He's also published 7 best selling books of party snaps. tSS can't quite remember where we met Patrick-it was most likely at a very disreputable Greenwich Village bar called the Ninth Circle.

        For the past 2 decades we've made an annual pilgrimage to visit Patrick in his Fifth Avenue apartment near Washington Square where he's lived since he left college. Soon we'll bring you a video of interview with Patrick conducted there. When we first started crashing on Patrick's sofa we usually had to cobble together a few dollars for breakfast the next day, Now McMullan employs around 40 people and 20 photographers around the USA. tSS occasionally helps out. I think he might own the building now.

       tSS once flew Patrick to Sydney for an exhibition of our snaps of various celebrities at a King's Cross gym transformed for the night into a gallery. He was a huge hit with the local media and our own party guests like the late Michael Hutchence and Kylie Minogue, who signed her snap which was later sold at a charity auction for the Bobby Goldsmith HIV charity bringing around $8000. Kylie loved the pic and asked us where we took it.."somewhere or other" was our reply, not wanting to remind her that it was in a bar when she trying to be incognito and she told tSS to "fuck off" at the time.

       Afterwards we all retired to a restaurant that is now the uber-chic Hugos Lounge (the bar and the only one not owned by 'nightclub identity' John Ibrahim). Joining us were our favourite former First Lady, Lady Sonia McMahon and Min Keating, mother of the then Prime Minister Paul Keating.(left) Everyone got along famously.

      right :   Lady Sonia McMahon with son , Hollywood hearthrob Julian McMahon

 In the morning Patrick received an urgent phone call from Min Keating.  "I left my beautiful rain coat behind" said Min. "Paul (Keating) will be furious " she said. " He bought it for me in Paris when he was on a state visit". Said raincoat was quickly found but as the half a dozen of us who had slept around Patrick's hotel suite arose, McMullan decided we should all pose in Min's leopard print raincoat for a future exhibition. "No-one will believe this" said Patrick...."the Prime Minister's mother waking me at 7am looking for her raincoat-it's like getting a call from the White House". Hopefully the snaps are locked away in a safe.

       Heaven forbid they should emerge. At former PM Bob Hawke's 80th birthday bash at the Opera House  a fortnight ago tSS earned a withering smile from Keating as we caught him trying to avoid the media upon arrival.

  Surpassing Patrick's photographic snaps now are his fashion reports for NBC TV. If you want to know the latest about New York's fashion scene go here to watch a few of McMullan's interviews.

    

a little scandal for New Year's Day

        As tSS saw in the new year perched high in the air from a 20th floor apartment which gave a commanding view of the superb fireworks, a little contretemps was occurring at the nation's top radio station 2GB to add to the woes of the diminutive but fiery A Current Affair reporter Ben Fordham who has received his fair share of kicks to the bollocks as he confront's fleeing dodgy builders or financial planners who have purloined the savings of a few hundred pensioners and so on.

    Down at the Woolloomooloo Wharf , retired radio king John Laws and his wife "Princess" Caroline were quietly seeing in the new year from their favourite table at Ottos with a few friends.

      Ben is currently filling in at 2GB for regular host, the ranting Ray Hadley who is on annual hols and for hours Fordham announced an up-coming interview with Lawsie-once the world's highest paid radio star. But then the interview was suddenly cancelled, embarrasing Fordham.

John and The Princess

     Various scenarios are being bandied about. Part owner of 2GB is current king of the airwaves Alan Jones who for about 12 years was Law's stablemate at the rival station 2UE where between them, they captured the nation's listeners.

       The emnity between the 2 radio stars was no secret. Laws referred to Jones as 'The Parrot' in private and had a wonderful time on air when letters between Jones and ABA chairman David Flint -which sounded like love letters, were revealed during the infamous

cash for comments scandal when both stars were accused of making paid advertising sound like normal comment whilst receiving millions of dollars for favourable mentions of various products.

        Laws, who had his fair share of run-ins with various government bodies was once  forced to apologise on air when Queer Eye For The Straight Guy Carson Kressley was a guest at the Melbourne Cup and Lawsie said to his millions of listeners "Who is this pompous little pansy prig?". Laws delighted in upsetting various minority groups and was accused of being 'homophobic' but it was all a pose-half his close friends are gay. Anything to get top ratings.

       Ben Fordham meanwhile is facing claims he allegedly concealed a serious crime when he posed as a hitman-suposedly hired by a former 75 year old Mayor of Waverley who claimed a male hustler was blackmailing him. The secret meeting where an alleged deal was done to top the blackmailer (the poor ex-Mayor neeeds new specs if he didn't recognise Fordham' face which is plastered on bus adverts) was secretly filmed and went to air on A Current Affair and the whole matter has become decidedly messy with all involved appearing in various courts. The matter has been held over to next this year.

      All the other media outlets are pondering about the reason just why Fordham would interview John Laws who has been retired for 2 years.

      Elementary, Mr. Watson. Laws long-time manager just happens to be John Fordham who also happens to be young Ben's dad. Fordham ,who also manages major sporting stars is the one who took Laws to such peaks of stardom he is now able to travel the world in style and live in the sumptous Woolloomooloo Wharf penthouse next door to Russell Crowe , and lunch and dine every day at Ottos, a small walk from home

                              John Fordham lunches with his client, John Laws at Ottos.
and for those who miss the dulcet tones of Laws-or that extraordinary hair-here is Lawsie on Muslims

reality check

      OK it's the silly season but that's no reason to go totally troppo. A tabloid we won't name (Daily Telegraph) is reporting that Hollywood actor Matt Damon is currently holidaying in Huskisson on the NSW South coast having moved on from Bateman's Bay where it's reported he "signed autographs".

     Damon, one of Hollywood's Mr Nice Guys is supposedly on The World, a vast cruise liner that is heading for Sydney and is like a 15 storey apartment block laid upon it's side. tSS  inspected The World the last time it visited Sydney and, well frankly they may be very nice apartments but the whole floating shebang is ghastly.

      It's like being trapped at sea in an apartment block full of neighbours you never wanted to know and are usually types like a Texan husband and wife who own a thousand bowling alleys and are worth a mint but would bore for The World.

 If Matt's aboard that boat I'll eat Madame Arcarti's hat. These shipboard apartments are mostly owned by people who occasionally rent them out-well just like a real apartment block but why would you want to spend weeks at sea when someone like Damon can hire his own Lear Jet if he wants to holiday in Oz with the kids-particularly as there would be very few other children aboard.

     There are some pleasant owners of these floating flats like Bill and Imelda Roche who sold the Nutrimetics empire for a squillion but they have even started spending less and less time aboard. The highly successful astrologer Athena Starwoman also purchased one when she found instant success in the USA but succumbed to cancer before she could even cross the threshold of her sea bound home.

    Frankly I'd prefer a trip on the Poseidon as at least you would get to go down with Shelley Winters.

And besides, tSS's World spy disguised as the PR agent says there is no-one named 'Damon ' listed onboard.

       This tale reeks for all The World like the story that engulfed the same newspaper when it discovered Sex in The City star Sarah Jessica Parker sipping a beer at the Rushcutter's Bay yachting club a few years ago and ran the pic for 3 days swearing blind it was her despite tSS saying 'you've got it all wrong folks". On the 4th day they admitted their mistake  (no apology of course) but the British lass who had a passing resemblence to Parker lapped up every moment of her new found fame.

     Of  course tSS may be completely wrong about this one but when have we ever been before  ?

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    The same tabloid has run a list of parties for New Year's Eve where one might spot Sydney's "A-List". That would be some feat finding this mysterious crowd who have been missing in action for decades and I doubt even David Attenborough could discover this rare and relatively unknown species.

   Still, they reckon there is an "exclusive" private party at the Top of the Town's $8.25 million penthouse "It's super private, ultra-glam and the guest list includes Charlotte Dawson and John Ibrahim." . Whatever.

troubles in the Imperial Court of Priscilla

     It was the venue where they filmed the Academy Award winning film Priscilla, Queen of the Dessert.

 Forget Crocodile Dundee, the mega hit films that showed real Aussie men carry big knives-Priscilla, shot at the Imperial Hotel in Newtown showed that plenty of real blokes carry big handbags as well.

     The hotel has been something of a gay icon for donkey's years but since it closed it's doors in 2007 for a make-over, it's been embroiled in a court battle over patron numbers.

        Owner Shadd Danesi  reckons he needs at least a reasonable 700 patrons a night to cover the enormous costs of building a proper showcase for the drag stars who strut the boards and entertain a clientele that isn't strictly out for a quick pick-up for the night but seek glam premises and a bit of classy entertainment. And it doesn't come much classier than Sydney's coterie of 6 foot something cocks in frocks who know how to entertain with biting wit.

      But mean locals and the City Council are trying to put the kybosh on that with just 300, and the owner has spent half a million dollars in legal fees alone fighting debilitating court cases .

     It's reminiscent of the battles that happened in chic Paddington-once the home of artists, alternatives, gays and lesbians and just about anyone who felt they didn't fit in elsewhere.

      Plus the amazing Windsor Castle Hotel that was packed every night with every sexual gender and persuasion and some that haven't even been invented yet. The place rocked like no other and the huge immigrant population of Italian and Greek neighbours and the Aussie working class locals didn't give a hoot. They just loved the colour and movement.

     Now you couldn't swing a sequined handbag without knocking out a stockbroker, corporate raider or banker who scowls at anyone in pre-2008 2009 BMW while the sad old Windsor gets a solicitor's warning letter if a patron speaks above a whisper.

   This Nimbyism has been the scourge of Sydney with it's myriad of inner city pockets of wonderful suburbs-many built by convicts for the working classes ,whilst their betters lived in the outer suburbs.

       But now the situations are reversed with the 'artistic' 'types being increasingly moved further and further out whilst corporate types nab the trendiest burbs and then moan about the very aspects that made the area so interesting in the first place.

     A pub like the Imperial, an art deco splendour and one of the few left of the era should be encouraged to ply it's trade to as many folk as possible and if local residents don't like it, they shouldn't have purchased there in the first place. Or they should understand real economics- every dollar the Imperial spends on upgrading and attracting patrons probably adds another 2 to the value of their property.

     However owner Shadd Danesi , ever optimistic has launched a quest to find an artist to re-create a giant red stilletto-something like this-which he wants to place above the entrance. God forbid, that should really have locals fuming and council officers crying foul.

   tSS once worked with Priscilla writer and director Stephan Elliot (left) making wedding and music videos. After the success of Priscilla, Elliot had Hollywood at his feet  (tSS is still working on that one)  but was mortified by the shady characters he met there and fled to London.          

     Whilst his fortunes floundered for a while his recent film 'Easy Virtue' opened to critical aclaim everywhere and he has 2 more flicks in development.

      And there are still plans to one day film the mad saga (with a script by writer Louis Nowra ) of the cancelled wedding of Prince Lorenzo Montesini, the ex-Qantas trolly dolly who travelled to Venice to marry  heiress Primrose 'Pitty Pat' Dunlop with half of Sydney and Melbourne society in tow. In a fit of nerves, Lorenzo  ran off with the best man Robert Straub the night before the wedding.

                                               Pitty Pat & Prince Lorenzo in happier days

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TigerGate fashion statement :

     tSS came across marketing executive Sharon Sargeant , the current sqeeze of celebrity gumshoe Frank Monte lunching with a gal pal at Potts Point eatery Lotus in this fetching t-shirt. Sharon says she met the great philandering golfer in an LA hotel bar 3 years ago with mutual friends. They all chatted for about half and hour over a drink and then everyone went their seperate ways.

     But ever since Tiger's tale has gone ballistic she's been plagued by celebrity agents wanting to know if she would like to "sell her story". "But there's nought to tell  " protests Sharon..and sick of the pestering she decided to put it in print.

Mildred Pierce-you are not alone

      How pleasing it is to find that the Social Shuttle's research assistant and sub-editor, Mildred Pierce, a dyslexic moggie rescued from the Cat Protection League one year ago is on-par with the Daily Mail , the great British tabloid. The Mail, slightly right-wing, is one of the best presented tabloids amongst a sorry lot but it does give good show biz.

    Today they have run a story on that great Australian icon Paul Hogan and wife Linda (who both left Oz 20 years ago) who are currently holidaying in Byron Bay..yes that's Byron Bay not Bryon Bay as the Mail on Line reports.

    We know the wonderful resort well as tSS worked for a short period on the local rag, the Byron Echo- started over 20 years ago by a dear tSS friend Nicholas Shand, heir to a British publishing fortune who went all bush and started a commune in that magical spot, when he purchased a few hundred acres in the Byron hinterland and decided the only thing the area lacked was a newspaper for the 'alternatives' or 'ferals' , like Shand, as  they were referred to by puzzled locals.

      The ferals were the band of city folk who had flocked to the beautiful old fashioned fishing town where houses now command multi-million dollar prices. Sadly Nicholas died in a car accident but his newspaper went on to become the area's dominant new's source.

     Hoges is pictured walking on Belongil Beach (we once flew there to cover a nude protest and made a small fortune selling the pics in Japan) and on the balcony of the town's best hotel. the Beach Hotel which was once owned by Hoges and his business partner John Cornell. Hogan and Cornell have made a fortune out of Byron Bay real estate, possibly more than they both did from their successful Crocodile Dundee film ventures.

    When the Croc films first went ballistic world-wide at the box office in the late 1980's, Hogan built a mansion at Possum Creek, just outside Byron, on a 132 hectare lot which he finally sold to Hong Kong British based banker Duncan Mount and his ex-model wife Sally in 2006. Possum Creek is back on the market for $8M as the Mounts are anxious to move back to Sydney.

 The Daily Mail reckons Hoges looks a bit old at 70-you can judge their pics here, while we present our latest Hogan snap from 2008.

As an aside, tSS once covered a concert for the Byron Echo when former Sex Pistol Johnny Rotten hit town (with a larger paunch than that sported by Hoges in the Mail pics). In mid-song, as tSS snapped away with a camera, Rotten-or John Lydon , his real name, leapt off stage and proceeded to throttle tSS at which point we pointed out -"hey it's me-your old drinking pal from Soho !". John relaxed his grip and said "great to see you again-play along please-the crowd loves it !"
    The resultant confected struggle between us was later described by Shand as "like a weird gay couple doing the Pride of Erin-badly", but at least the audience was convinced Anything for art's sake.

      As the Daily Mail says, age catches up on one.

Monday rant : defame me...please

          Britain's Justice Minister Jack Straw, it appears, has given into repeated calls from various groups calling for reform of Britain's libel laws, and specifically so-called tourism libel  Straw says a panel will  "consider whether the law of libel, including the law relating to libel tourism, in England and Wales needs reform, and if so to make recommendations as to solutions".

      Omninously, he says this study will be conducted by " academics, lawyers and newspaper editors". So that's OK then. Or is it ?

         No 'man in the street" or errant vicar discovered to have had a bit on the side with his life splashed on the pages of The Sun on this panel ?.

         What about the casual sex partner of singer George Michael who was pounced upon by the tabloids after he emerged from the bushes on Hampstead Heath, described variously as "sleazy" "fat" "pudgy" "cheaply dressed" etc etc.( a possible description of many a newspaper editor tSS has encountered). His pictures and accompanying sordid descriptions even ended up in Aussie glossies and Spanish celeb mags while Michael went on to explain himself on Michael Parkinson's chat show to raptuous applause.

        Even worse, the schizoid world of the gay publishing printed the following :

"Meanwhile his (George Michael's) new buddy K***** crept from the undergrowth looking sheepish and rushed to his Ford Transit van. As he opened the door a grubby, stained mattress was clearly visible in the back.

We later tracked him to his home 60 miles away—a squalid flat in Brighton, East Sussex.
Looking gross and dishevelled, K***** answered the door naked — pulling on grimy shorts as he invited us in."
   The site GAYTWTOGETHER describes itself as "interesting articles, great pictures and cool stuff for and about gay relationships. Whether you’re "living together" or "dating", "not quite sure yet" or "in a long term relationship", it's all about romance, love and being GAYTWOGETHER".
Well yeh, sure. No casual sex or even solidarity for these prudes.

          Surely this bloke, who for all the idiotic descriptions looks like just about every other person in the street, minus a few gold records and the latest Mercedes, deserves a place on this panel of distinguished experts. The list of mere mortals who could advise this panel could go on forever-the thousands who are routinely defamed and libeled in the media on a daily basis just because they can be and because they have no recourse.

       The gorgeous Carla Bruni-Sarkozy writing in The Guardian in defence of her husband the French President Nicolas Sarkozy  (who hardly needed such defence) makes a valid point in quoting the great French playwright Pierre Beaumarchais:

"Slander, sir? You scarcely know the half of it: I have seen the most honest of men almost brought to their knees by it ... Who the devil will resist it?"

Unfortunately you have to be married to a French president to get yourself a page in the Guardian when your feelings have been hurt.

         Whilst Straw's announcement is receiving plaudits from the very worthy The Libel Reform Campaign which includes such notables as The World's Greatest Magazine, Private Eye editor Ian Hislop, writer Monica Ali, former Poet Laurete Sir Andrew Motion (?) and a variety of Guardian and Independent type editors and journalists, why is no ordinary victim of libel ( like Michael's Hampstead Heath friend) included in their campaign ?.

      The Libel Reform website carries worthy tales of major investigations being stalled by threats of libel but what about that other body of people, you know the majority : the common man/woman who are routinely slaughtered in print in daily tabloids and have no recourse except perhaps a letter to the "self regulated"  Press Complaints Commission ?. ( forget the Australian version-it consists of 3 people and a pet budgie)

 The Australian businessman Joseph Gutnick won the very first internet libel case when he sued the Dow Jones and Company (Dow). (it's well documented here ironically by the Murdoch University). Gutnick claimed that the Dow article could be read worldwide via the web and his main complaint was that it included a photograph of him with a tax evader and gave the impression that he (wrongly) aided that man in his schemes. Gutnick won handsomely and set a precedent which we are now seeing used to such great effect in the UK. But Gutnick is mega-rich.

       

      NSW  has just reformed it's libel laws to bring them in-line with the rest of the country which are still a dog's breakfast-but importantly again, only accessible for the rich. It's capped the top payout at $250,000 but the litigant must first go through one court to prove their case, and then a second with a jury to decide damages, which as the late and very rich stockbroker Rene Rivkin (pictured left) found when he sued a newsaper for alleging he had 'gay liasons' with shady characters. He won, but was awarded $1 in damages.

         What Straw has done-just as former Labor premier of NSW Bob Carr (the best premier the Tories never had) did, is cave into a cabal of newspaper editors who continually claim "freedom of the press ", aided by  the normally sane UK's Press Gazette  (emails to the Press Gazette and The Libel Reform Campaign as to why, in their campaigns, they don't also call for libel laws to be made accessible to the great unwashed masses, go unanswered.)

        Ever since a Manchester newspaper editor discover in the 1890's that 'sex sells', along with sensationalism and bugger the affects upon any hapless soul subject to their treatment, any libel reforms will bring no joy for those like the bunch of schoolkids whose school photo was plastered across a News Ltd tabloid front page when it was discovered their school had rated the lowest in academic scoring in the state, which earned them the headline " OUR DUMBEST KIDS ?.

       Unless Straw's panel include reforms that allow access to legal aid for defamed plebs, they will amount to nought.

# Disclosure : tSS did once sue the wondrous News of The World many years ago over a case of  mistaken identity and was handsomely rewarded with enough filthy lucre to purchase a gleaming new Mini and take a holiday (with friend) in Portugal.

### And mistakes in the Social Shuttle will always be corrected with a grovelling apology but blamed on our sub-editor Mildred Pierce. (well that's what everyone else does !)
                                           
                                                         our once treasured gift from Rupert Murdoch

## Fact : Jack Straw's increased police powers and so-called "terrorism prevention"measures earned the praise of Margaret Thatcher and he has vetoed publication of government documents requested under the Freedom of Information Act. Straw also voted to invade Iraq....you know, the country that had never invaded Britain. (Lancet Iraqi death estimates :500 people per day, or 2.5% of Iraq's population )

the continuing fall of Paris Hilton

  Which is more tragic ?

       British TV host and ex-tabloid editor Piers Morgan or the so-called 'party' girl Paris Hilton ?. Britain's Daily Mail today carries pics and a story of a mock wedding between the 2 in Las Vegas complete with a (yawn) Elvis impersonator.

       Apparently the stunt is to promote Pier's new ITV show Piers Morgan On...whatever. The decline of Las vegas appears to be the first in the series. Sadly Piers is about 2 years out of date. Vegas started plummeting about 2 years ago around the same time Paris Hilton partied there with Sydney "nightclub identity" (or organised crime figure according to police) John Ibrahim (pictured right (c))

       Morgan's tale in the Mail about the decline of Vegas isn't bad reading but the ABC TV's 4 Corners did it better and earlier with their "Will The Son Also Rise" story on James Packer and his $2Billion loss in Vegas which can be viewed here. It's a far better insight into the decline of the Nevada gambling city than Pier's tale, although to his credit, perhaps his TV version may be more fun.

        As for Paris, she's let it be known that she is available for a gig in Sydney for New Year's Eve but hasn't found a taker yet. That's probably after her behaviour in 2008 when she was paid a reputed
 $200K to front a party at Kings Cross bar The Piano Room (co-incidently another Ibrahim venture) when she swept through the bar at mid-night into a small hidden VIP closure never to be seen again. Guests who had paid a small fortune to see the party girl cried foul.

   

 Hilton agreed to attend the regular New Year's Day charity party in 2007 held at the chic Icebergs restaurant overlooking Bondi Beach-as long as no media were allowed to attend. Just to show there were no hard feelings tSS went anyway and snapped her snogging with Stavros Niarchos who had slipped in unnoticed by all.

                                                    the on/off Paris & Stavros (c)

    And on the theme of New Year's Eve, the once 'party to be at' , the Lord Mayor's Opera House get-together that once hosted celebs like Kylie Minogue or Sarah Michelle Geller to push the start button for the spectacular fireworks display has become a pay only event with the privilege to listen to music presented by Lindsay Lohan's ex, Samantha Ronson for around a $1000 entry fee. No thanks. One press conference with the snarly Ronson is one too many in a lifetime.

tSS will be reporting NYE from a 30th floor apartment in an East Sydney building, which hosts so many parties special tickets are printed with limited numbers supplied to each resident. Bolinger and a small comedy set by Austen Tayshus (right) will be a bonus.

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Distant cousins # 3 ?

former Prime Minister Bob Hawke

Minister for The Yartz Sir Les Patterson 

last minute Christmas presents

  God only knows how they did it with the postal workers strike but  tSS was delighted to receive on Boxing Day, 2 books for Christmas that have brought us much delight. One is the 'Complete Prophecies of Nostradamus' by Mario Reading , a weighty tome from which we will bring you some compelling revelations for the future shortly in 2010.




  The other was 'Alison Jackson Confidential', the second publication by this brilliant and very funny photographer. By a remarkable co-incidence Britain's Daily Mail today has run a series of Alison's very funny snaps reputedly of HRH The Queen going about London, one of which we re-produce with no apologies but at least we'll give you the link. Hey, the Mail routinely nicks our stories and pics without attribution but we are perfect gentlemen, if little else.
      Alison's books really are a hoot and feature celebrity look-a-likes with such clever lighting and poses you could never pick them from the real thing.

For the full set of the Daily Mail pics go to the Mail on Line's "Is That The Queen in Tescos?"

As to whether Australia becomes a Republic and with talk of such, expected to ramp up next year with Republican sympathiser PM Kevin Rudd in one corner and Monarchist Opposition Leader Tony Abbot ( a former amateur boxer to boot) in the other, the last word goes to the brilliant editor of the law journal Justinian Richard Akland about the popular choice for our first president, the recently retired High Court judge and world respected jurist Michael Kirby.

         Shuttlers will re-call Kirby, while still sitting on the bench of the High Court of Australia, 'outed' himself in 1999 in his Who's Who entry by quietly naming his long term partner as a Dutch born newsagent, Johan van Vloten.

          The howls of outrage were deafening even with an attempt in Parliament to bring m'learned Judge down via a concocted scandal involving rent boys supposedly picked up at Sydney's infamous under-age prostitute hang-out The Wall, by Kirby cruising about in his chauffeured Commonwealth car. He survived it all to retire this year. As Justinian reports :

"Geoffrey Robertson QC, the plummy barrister, wrote a critique of Kirby's contribution to society and the law: ''Once again, you must be Mr President - not of the NSW Court of Appeal but of the Australian nation … It must be President Kirby, and if homophobes snigger that you have become 'The Queen of Australia', just make the monarchists curtsy to you.''"

     

              Johan van Vloten & and partner Justice Michael Kirby

No 11 in " Madame Arcati's 10 most stupid journalists of 2009 "

From Melbourne's The Age-one of the oldest and once most respected broadsheets in the world, comes a wacky piece by Lawrence Money titled "Three Gays and A Baby".

It concerns a lesbian couple from Ireland, who now live in Australia, who were ordered by the Irish Supreme Court to allow regular visitation rights to the biological father of their three year old child, because Ireland's constitution recognises him as the father.

Lawrence Money quotes from a " Longitudinal Study of Lesbian Families’ in 1999 by Susan Golombok and Fiona Tasker (which) found that 15 per cent of 39 children raised in 27 lesbian families had gone on to have a gay relationship. That compares with none of the kids from a comparative group of heterosexual families." That's a US study involving possibly around 150 people in a population of (then) about 280 million.

 Money follows with the claim "and that also compares with about two or three percent of the general community who identify as exclusively homosexual. It doesn’t do much for the old gay-rights argument that homosexuals are born, not made, does it?" Uhhh?

 Money should have read the 2008 report from the same group here that shows that the very prejudicial garbage Money writes is one of the problems kids in same sex parents families face.

 Money draws these conclusions about his "two or three percent of the general community"-which in Australia alone would number 600 to 700,000 gays and lesbians or in the USA approx 9 million from a study of "39 children raised in 27 lesbian families"

So where the fuck does Money think these "two or three percent "of gays and lesbians come from given that same parent families are a miniscule minority?. Is he inferring they were "made" by their heterosexual parents ?

Step up to podium Mr Money and proudly  accept your Jan Moir Homophobic Fuckwit of The Year award.

## Lawrence concludes "I've long held the view that humans should need a licence to breed.". Be warned. tSS has finally perfected a time machine and set the date to 1960 and upon arrival will be immediately revoking Mr & Mrs Money's licence to re-produce.

### our apologies to Mr Money for mispelling his name as Mooney-which a fellow blogger reminds us rhymes with loony, and he is not to be confused with the very funny comedian Lawrence Mooney. Sub-editor Mildred Pierce the moggie has been allowed back into the office-for now-tSS accepts the blame.

a Christmas present for Kristina

     When NSW premier Kristina Keneally said in November 2009 that she "would never be premier of NSW", tSS chortled into our G&T(s). We knew better as we had confidently predicted 3 months earlier that she would be premier by November. She was by the 3rd of December.

     Like most psychics, we are sometimes a little out in our sooth-saying but certainly score better than every other media outlet in the State. Indeed, most of the media including the normally sane Sydney Morning Herald have gone into a overdrive proclaiming her the 'puppet premier" of Labor Party power brokers Eddie Obeid and Joe Tripodi-pictured left- (as if any political leader gets to the top without strings being pulled).

     Even Kristina's soft and pleasant American accent came in for a xenophobic bashing as nameless (to spare them blushes) political pundits declared Aussies would hate her accent, oblivious to the fact 21 million of them are glued to television every night watching Yankee crime shows.

      Born in Las Vegas and a former aide to the Governor of Ohio-with a BA in political studies and a stint as a union organiser with the powerful US Teamsters Union, Keneally is also a committed Roman Catholic who met her husband Ben, nephew of writer Thomas Keneally at the World Youth Day in Poland in 1991. And therein lies the rub. Political journos in their ivory towers continually ignore the power of the Catholic church in Oz. Obeid and Tripodi have plotted this move for over 12 months now and tSS goes on record with another bold prediction.

         No-the deck chairs haven't been re-arranged on the Titanic as the very amusing song below says-mimicking the dingbats on the Herald and Daily Telegraph who have been running on pure hysteria for a month now with their 'citizen's petitions' demanding an early state election (seemingly oblivious to the fixed 4 year term that prevents such an action)-we now announce that Keneally and her deputy premier Carmel Tebbit will be swept back into power in 12 months time.

        Why will they not listen ?.We urged the Federal Liberals not to ditch the cleverest leader they have ever had-Malcolm Turnbull, which means they will be thrashed at the polls by Kevin Rudd in '10 and Turnbull may well form a break-away political party (you heard it here first) or defect to Labor.
         And we suggested they do away with their ever so nice but dull state leader Barry O'Farrell (formely Fatty O'Barrel until his weight loss) as it's written in the stars and predicted by us-he will never lead the state. I've seen it all in the tea-leaves.

an ode to Kristina :

UK Daily Mail on the ball again ! Well almost.

10 days after the Social Shuttle reported that actress Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are facing a battle with locals over rows of hedges and trees planted on their Bunya Hill property in Sutton Forrest in the Southern Highlands, one of Britain's top selling tabloids the Daily Mail has picked up the tale.

Bunya Hill, a Georgian mansion with 45 hectares of prime cattle land and an equestrian centre built for Lord Augustus Loftus the NSW Governor around 1887 also had a role in World War II. In 1942 it housed 60 English women and their children who had fled Hong Kong before the Japanese invasion. Kidman and Urban purchased it for about $6.5M in 2008 and set about renovating the house and lands.

Set on a hill with commanding views , part of the property runs along side a public road and the owners have bull-dozed a mound the length of the property and planted rows of trees to keep out prying eyes.

tSS correspondent Bill Ranken who owns the magnificent Lochesleigh property nearby that has been in the family for 4 generations (considered the best in the state) has long been talking of the growing grumbles amongst locals who notice the slightest change in the area when "blow-ins", as they call them set about "updating" any one of the graceful houses in the area. Incurring the wrath of long time Southern Highlands locals is considered the kiss of death in one of the most beautiful and graceful countryside areas in Australia. One can't even plant a row of poppies without the blessing of neighbours.

When Harry Potter star Miriam Margolyes-who spends many months of the year at her Southern Highlands farm between acting jobs, wanted to erect a garden shed, she sensibly petitioned her neighbours to get their blessing before even contemplating putting plans into the council.

Forget the council chambers who have now taken on the matter, Nicole and Keith need to start baking tarts and cakes and hand delivering them about the area to the crusty faced locals.

## Digital Spy has also picked up the tale.

Brickbats and bouquets from the mailbag

Inspired by Shuttle reader fawaz2002 (see below) who declared his desire to plaster his precious bodily fluids upon the face of tSS we though we might share some of the many emails we receive in an occasional new series:

From ****@unwired.com.au ( Sammy ---------)

Date  Thurs 1 Oct 2009  01.23am
To:      societyoscar@gmail.com
Subject  your blog

Dear Oscar,
"what a load of wankers you write about. Who in the hell are they ?"

Dear Sammy,
It's true-we believe that possibly something like 99.999% of people we write about are wankers-or to use the correct word-masturbators.
In fact we hope they do indulge in that pleasurable and harmless pastime either alone or with a partner. You may re-call that in 1972 the then Anglican Bishop of Melbourne declared that masturbation was now no longer a sin and acceptable (although he did qualify it as an alternative to sex with a partner outside marriage). We at tSS warmly advise you to join the ranks. As to who they are ?..well, you must read the Shuttle on a regular basis as that is our reason to exist..to turn you onto wanking and the world of wankers !..much love , Oscar
                         ______________________________________________

From  *******@y7mail.com.au  (mindbender)
Date   Tues 3 Nov 2009  10.32am
To       societyoscar@gmail.com
Subject  full of shit

Dear Shit Shuttle,
"your site really gives me the shits everytime I read it."

Dear mindbender,
so you poop in your pants and then write to me to tell me about it ? Whatever. love Oscar
                       _________________________________________________

From *******@optus.com (Andrew ---------)
Date Wed 18 Nov 2009 17.12pm
To societyoscar@gmail.com
Subject  loser

Hello Oscar,

"what a pathetic poncy website full of the biggest load of crap I've ever read. I bet you've never had a real job or been near a real newspaper in your life. You sound like some sad loser sitting in his bedroom typing away and have never been anywhere or done anything. Get a life !"

Dear Andrew, are you flirting with me ?
XX Oscar
                   __________________________________________

From *******@aol.com (Robert ---------)
Date Wed 25 Nov 2009 10.22 am
To societyoscar@gmail.com
Subject The Social Shuttle

Hi Oscar, "I'm a friend of Patrick McMullans in New York and I really enjoy your site. He sends his regards. Best wishes, Robert"

Dear Robert, how lovely to hear from you and to know Patrick has such sane sensible friends. By God he needs them if you know what I mean. But let's keep that between ourselves. Love Oscar.

                __________________________________________________
From *******@yahoo.co.uk (Billy ---------)
Date Tues 1 Sept 2009 12.01 am
To societyoscar@gmail.com
Subject The Social Shuttle

Hi Oscar, "pretty interesting website and lots of newsy stuff. Keep it up. Regards, Billy"

Dear Billy, I love you and want to have your babies. xxxx Oscar
                                               **************************